


Men of Miracles

by LokasennaHiddleston



Category: Code Geass
Genre: Adults Not Being Idiots, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Childhood Trauma, Eventually SuzaLulu, Father-Son Relationship, Fix-It, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Geass Made Them Do It, Gen, Letters, M/M, POV Outsider, Sex Pollen, Suzaku Gets a Hug, Temporary Character Death, Time Travel, Underage because they are 17 when sexy times happen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2018-12-05
Packaged: 2019-05-01 05:05:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 13
Words: 40,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14513178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LokasennaHiddleston/pseuds/LokasennaHiddleston
Summary: In the middle of an invasion, the broken heart of a boy who committed patricide to save his friends doesn't matter. But what if it did? What if one man extended his hand to that child and helped him through his trauma?Or the one where Tohdoh finally acknowledges his mistakes and with a little help from a certain green-haired witch, gets the chance to fix them. Will he succeed or are Lelouch and Suzaku destined to become the Demon Emperor and his Betrayer Knight?





	1. A Belated Apology

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry about the yet another CG fic, but I could not help myself. This was born from my work on The Unholy Trinity, while I was exploring the relationship between Tohdoh and Suzaku. I really do think that a huge part of the bullshit could have been avoided had someone actually done something about Suzaku's trauma sooner. And of course, the only two people who could have done this were the two men who knew about it: Tohdoh and Kirihara (canonically, the 2 people who knew about Suzaku's patricide until the anime actually started). I wanted to write Suzaku and Lelouch with a healthier mental state. Thus, this story.  
> Oh, by the way, I am choosing the Tohdoh Kyoshiro spelling rather than Toudou Kyoushirou as it is on the Archive. It's personal preference.  
> Remember! Reviews and kudos are love! Tell me what you think of my take on Tohdoh's character!

Tohdoh Kyoshiro liked to believe he was a good man. He was a soldier through and through and had dedicated his life to Japan. He was a man of honor who followed the code of bushido.

It did not take him long after the death of Emperor Lelouch vi Britannia to realize his previous opinions of himself might not have been as accurate as he'd have liked and that certain items on that list contradicted each other.

It started out on the day of Lelouch's death. He had of course been among those who had immediately realized the identity of the Zero who had ended the life of the Demon Emperor. Kallen's words had made him hold his tongue and accept the situation at face value, but the thought had never left his mind.

Suzaku Kururugi was not actually dead. He was still alive, hiding under the mask of Zero. He had also killed the man who had previously worn it.

For quite some time, the young Kururugi heir had been one of Tohdoh's greatest regrets. He had done nothing to approach the boy after Suzaku had committed patricide, even if he had seen how much the deed had affected him. At the time, he had told himself the war with Britannia took precedence over the feelings of one boy, but he now wondered if maybe he had not secretly begrudged Suzaku for his actions.

It was part of the reason why he had not blamed Suzaku for joining the Britannian army, even when Suzaku had been the one in charge of executing him. He had thought even then that Suzaku had been, in some way, trying to do the right thing. While he could not say he approved of the approach, he could hardly judge Suzaku for turning to the Britannians when the Japanese had not really offered their support.

Of course, he had not felt nearly as understanding in more recent months. It had horrified him beyond belief to learn that Suzaku had been the one to fire the FLEIJA, that day in Tokyo, but in the beginning, he had been on the fence on how much that had been influenced by the Geass Lelouch had apparently cast on him. Despite Suzaku's reputation as the White Reaper of Britannia, he simply couldn't see Suzaku as committing such genocide, even on the orders of his Britannian superiors.

That had all changed after Suzaku had become the Knight of Zero. Tohdoh had thought that maybe he'd been wrong about Suzaku all along, or that maybe, after all these years, there had been nothing left of Tohdoh's student but a shell, a twisted creature wearing the face of the Kururugi heir. He had hoped to at least fix his mistake by ending Suzaku's life, as much as the idea had pained him.

It had not worked, and he'd been both grieved and relieved when he had heard Suzaku had fallen to Kallen. And now, here Suzaku was, once again in front of him, very much alive. It was no accident of fate. Tohdoh was sure of it.

By the time he was set free, Tohdoh had already realized it must have all been Lelouch's plan from the beginning. This was exactly the type of strategy Lelouch had used during his time as Zero. Not to mention that there was no way one lone individual could have gotten past Lelouch's armed escort, not if Lelouch had not planned it that way.

The whole spectacle was like a twisted mimicry of the time Lelouch as Zero had saved a younger Suzaku's life after he had been accused of killing Clovis. Tohdoh didn't know if it was a coincidence or not, but he still had no doubt everything had gone exactly as Lelouch had planned.

As the chants of "Zero, Zero, Zero!" rose around them, Tohdoh watched the unflinching figure of the new Zero and wondered how Suzaku felt about this. To this day, Tohdoh did not understand Suzaku and Lelouch's relationship. Had they been friends? Had they been enemies? Was Suzaku happy now that he had killed the man who had ended the life of the Britannian princess he'd sworn his sword to? Was he satisfied with this outcome?

As Princess Nunnally wept over the dead body of her older brother, Zero's attention seemed to turn toward her. It was just a twitch of his head, barely visible, but enough to tell Tohdoh that Suzaku was looking at Nunnally and the dead Lelouch. There was no sign of him feeling any sort of remorse, but in that moment, Tohdoh somehow knew that Suzaku took no pleasure in this.

****

Tohdoh's new realizations mattered very little in the big picture. Lelouch's death ushered the world into an era of peace and prosperity—undoubtedly exactly the way he had planned it. His sister became empress, with Zero acting as her guard. The Black Knights remained as a peacekeeping force, this time serving the UFN.

As always, Tohdoh set aside his personal feelings and threw himself into the process of the reconstruction of Japan. It was a lot of work, but they were finally headed in the right direction.

If occasionally, he couldn't help but feel that Lelouch would have been better at organizing everything than him and Ohgi, he never said it out loud.

The Black Knights' betrayal of Lelouch was something taboo, and nobody spoke about it. Maybe they all thought that if they pretended it had not happened—or that it had happened in a different way—the self-deception would wash away the stain of their dishonor.

Tohdoh could no longer afford to be so blind.

In truth, Tohdoh still did not know how he felt about Lelouch vi Britannia. He had lost Asahina, Urabe and Senba to the two Black Rebellions, and while he could not truly blame Lelouch for their deaths, the loss still pained him. Then there was General Katase to consider, as well as Kusakabe. Tohdoh did not know how much of Schneizel's information on Geass had been accurate, but he had always deemed General Katase's suicide suspicious, so that, at least, must have been true. At the same time, though, Lelouch had been their leader and the only one to give them hope when Japan had nothing, no real chance for freedom. Despite Tohdoh's numerous misgivings and his lingering doubts about Lelouch's actions, he realized very well that their own behavior that day—their inability to at least give their leader a chance to explain himself—had been unforgivable. They'd even pointed their guns at Kallen when she had tried to stand up for him.

Today, Tohdoh had no doubt that if Lelouch had become the Demon Emperor, they had been the ones to push him into it.

And then there was Suzaku, whose state of mind remained unclear. Tohdoh only got the chance to look into it two months after Nunnally's ascension to the Britannian throne.

Things had finally quieted down somewhat. The reconstruction of Tokyo was slow-going due to the tremendous amount of damage the FLEIJA had done, but they were making progress. The situation in Britannia was similar, so Nunnally finally made an official visit to Japan, presumably to visit her friends at Ashford Academy. Obviously, Suzaku was with her.

Nunnally and Suzaku were both staying in the rebuilt Tokyo palace. Naturally, the building that had replaced Clovis's Britannian atrocity looked nothing like its predecessor.  It did not even serve the same purpose, as it wasn't meant to be a real residence for the members of the government. It was also far more modest in size, as only the bare minimum had been constructed in deference to their still difficult situation. The structure was currently very much like a larger version of the Kururugi shrine where Suzaku had grown up. Suzaku had shown no sign of being affected by the familiarity, but Tohdoh hadn't expected him to.

Tohdoh managed to ambush him the evening before Nunnally was set to return to Britannia. The empress had just retired and Tohdoh caught Zero in the corridor between her quarters and his own.

"Zero, could I please have a word?"

"Of course," Suzaku said, his voice showing no inflection whatsoever. "What is it, General Tohdoh?"

Tohdoh didn't bother taking Suzaku to his office. While such an approach would have perhaps been more appropriate considering their respective stations, it could have also been counterproductive. Most of the staff had gone home at this hour, but there was still a lot of security personnel. Zero was a well-respected figure—the hero who had killed the Demon Emperor Lelouch—and that meant his presence would draw attention, which was the last thing Tohdoh wanted.

As such, Tohdoh guided Suzaku into a nearby tea room. Since it was located in the guest wing, it wasn't frequented regularly by anyone. They would be able to talk in private here.

Once Suzaku slid the doors shut, Tohdoh found himself at a loss. He had never been a particularly affectionate man, and his past interactions with Suzaku hadn't been the best. Still, this conversation with his former student had been his idea, so he needed to say something.

It would have been easier if he hadn't been faced with the blank and unnerving mask of Zero, but when had Tohdoh ever balked at difficult tasks? At the end of the day, the reason why he wanted to speak to Suzaku wasn't that complicated. 

"I am deeply sorry," he said formally.

He could not see Suzaku's face to monitor his response to the apology, and Suzaku's body language offered him no insight into the mind of his former student. "I'm afraid I don't understand. What are you sorry for?"

His voice was level, completely calm, but Tohdoh knew better than to believe that was anything more than a facade. "For not supporting you when I should have. I was your teacher. I should have known better."

"I believe you are apologizing to the wrong person, General Tohdoh," Suzaku replied, still unfazed. "Suzaku Kururugi is dead."

Tohdoh didn't refute Suzaku's words, even if they both knew they weren't true. "Consider it an apology to his memory then. And an open offer, in honor of that memory. If there's anything else I can do, anything at all..."

He didn't expect Suzaku to accept his offer, but he was still disappointed when the boy said, "I appreciate your generosity, but you are already providing all the assistance I need by supporting Empress Nunnally's stance on world peace."

"I would have done that anyway, regardless of my opinion on my past actions and those of other people. This is an unrelated matter."

Something in his manner seemed to reach of to his old student, because his stance shifted, his shoulders slumping slightly. Much to Tohdoh's surprise, he reached for his mask and pulled it off.

He looked tired, pale and wan. He had heavy bags under his eyes, and when he faced Tohdoh , his once bright emerald gaze looked dull and lifeless. "Tohdoh-sensei... What do you want me to tell you? That I forgive you? There's nothing to forgive. I'm hardly entitled to throw stones at anyone, after everything I've done."

"That doesn't change the fact that perhaps you would not have done those things had we stood up for you, even once."

"My actions were my own," Suzaku said, shaking his head. "Whatever you feel responsible for, you should stop blaming yourself."

"And you, Suzaku-kun?" Tohdoh shot back. "When will you stop blaming yourself?"

"When will I stop blaming myself?" Suzaku repeated. "Because of my anger and desire for revenge, I killed millions. I betrayed and destroyed my homeland. I became exactly what I did not want to be, and because of that, I was forced to murder the most important person in my life, the man I loved."

The latter words took Tohdoh aback so much he was momentarily rendered mute. Suzaku's lips twisted in a mockery of smile. "Are you surprised? Disgusted?"

Tohdoh shook his head. Homosexuality wasn't exactly well-received in more traditional Japanese families, but Tohdoh had never had a problem with it. He had suspected Asahina of such leanings, but it had never been an issue. It was just the idea of Suzaku and Lelouch as lovers that shocked him.

"I just didn't realize you and Lelouch had that kind of relationship," he explained.

"We didn't. Looking back, I think there may have been a chance, at one point, but we were on separate paths from the beginning, and after that... There was too much baggage for us to pursue something romantic. I only kissed him once... When he was already dead."

That was a very gruesome confession, but at this point, Tohdoh was glad Suzaku was even talking to him. Maybe it was just because Suzaku needed to say these things to someone and Tohdoh had made himself available, but it was better than nothing.

"I should have probably hated it," Suzaku continued, his voice sounding distant, like he wasn't even present anymore. "He tasted like blood. I can still remember it, sometimes. But... I'm glad that I did it. I think that Lelouch would have been glad too. And I think that wherever he is, he will at least be happy that his legacy of peace will live on. I don't know if I will ever forgive him, or myself. The world certainly won't. But that doesn't matter anymore. He is dead and so am I."

Tohdoh suppressed a shiver at the absolute conviction in those last three words. He wanted to argue that it was not true, that Suzaku lived on and could still find some semblance of happiness, even if he had to hide behind the mask of Zero. The words just didn't come to his lips.

"You should marry Chiba, Tohdoh-sensei," Suzaku added. "Don't waste this chance. Live your life. You don't have to be just a soldier any longer. That's what I'm for." He straightened his shoulders and put his mask back on. Just like that, the little vulnerability he had deigned to show to Tohdoh—for whatever reason—disappeared and Suzaku turned into the inflexible, blank Zero once again. "Now... Was there anything else, General Tohdoh?"

There were countless things Tohdoh would have liked to say, but he knew none would be appreciated. At this point, it had become clear that Suzaku was beyond his reach. Technically, that had been clear even before and this belated apology had been more for his own sake than for Suzaku's. It was much too late to mend broken bridges, or fix the broken heart of the boy who had been Tohdoh's student.

"No, Zero," Tohdoh replied. "That is all. Thank you for your service."

Zero nodded curtly and left. Tohdoh watched him go with a heavy heart. He had never felt more useless in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm no expert at capturing the nuances at the Japanese language, but I felt it was important to point out that in this instance, Tohdoh uses a very formal version of "I'm sorry", which actually does have an effect and is part of the reason why Suzaku removes his mask.  
> Also, I am currently congratulating myself for writing this, if only because I'm adding a new relationship tag. Can't believe there wasn't a Tohdoh& Suzaku before.


	2. Miraculous Birthday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slightly shorter chapter today, but I had it done, so I figured I might as well post it! Hope you enjoy! Thank you for your comments and kudos!

Autumn drifted into winter, which in turn, brought both grief and celebration. In the beginning of December, Tohdoh saw Kallen looking particularly glum and remembered.

 Lelouch vi Britannia would have been 19 years old on the 5th of this month.

Sometimes, it was so difficult to remember that Zero, the Demon Emperor, their leader, their enemy and their savior had been only a teenager. Much like Suzaku, really.

Two boys, fighting a war that had consumed their childhoods from the very beginning.

In some ways, Kallen was similar. She too had lost her innocence far too soon. But Lelouch's death had bought Kallen and many others a new chance, a chance for a peaceful existence, something Suzaku and Lelouch had been denied.

It was actually Kallen who idly mentioned that Nunnally and Zero would be making an unofficial visit to Ashford again. Tohdoh assumed that it was precisely because of Lelouch's birthday. After the way his last conversation with Suzaku had gone, he decided to not intervene.

Nevertheless, he could not let the day go by just like that. This was what led Tohdoh to travel to the Kururugi shrine on the morning of December 5. It was snowing, white flakes dancing through the air, settling on his cheeks and eyelashes. For some reason, as it beautiful as the sight was, the snow reminded Tohdoh of ash.

He shook himself and made his way into the property. He did not enter the main structure. There was nothing for him there, just ghosts and memories. Instead, he went around it, up a long flight of stairs, until he finally found it. The small hovel where Lelouch and Nunnally had stayed while at the shrine.

Originally, the place had been a preferred play spot for the young Suzaku. Suzaku had raged for days about it being taken from him by the Britannian prince and princess. It had irritated Tohdoh, since deep inside, he had known it had been inappropriate of Genbu to make them live there. Political hostages though they might have been, Lelouch and Nunnally had been children, children of royalty, and they had deserved better, especially given the little girl's handicap. Granted, Lelouch had not been the warmest child and had thrown what little hospitality he'd been granted in their faces. But Tohdoh could hardly blame him. For heavens' sake, he had heard that Lelouch had been forced to carry his sister on his own, receiving no aid in that whatsoever. Genbu had been in the wrong, and there was no honor in exerting one's authority over innocents.

Of course, Suzaku had not understood these nuances, but then, he'd only been a child, one taught to hate outsiders in general and Britannians in particular. To this day, Tohdoh did not know how Suzaku had become friends with Lelouch and Nunnally despite Suzaku's dislike of them. He probably never would.

The small structure had long ago been abandoned, the furniture crumbling due to age and humidity. Even so, as he looked around, Tohdoh thought he could still see flashes of a young and happy Suzaku playing and laughing with his Britannian friends.

More ghosts and memories.

Pushing back the thought, he retrieved his supplies from his bag and set the incense burner on a small table that seemed stable enough. He lit the incense and watched the smoke rising through the air, the pleasant heat chasing away some of the winter chill. It reminded him of different times, other places where he had done this exact same thing—with Asahina, Chiba, Urabe and Senba... And with Suzaku too.

He remembered a time when little Suzaku had shown the young Lelouch how to light an incense stick, explaining the meaning behind the rite in Japanese culture. It had not been here, but in the main temple, on a day when Genbu had not been present at the shrine. Tohdoh had just been passing by and had overheard them talking, but the scene had always stuck with him. Perhaps it was because of the quiet fascination on Lelouch's face, or the simple, but reverent enthusiasm in Suzaku's voice. It was yet another thing that had been lost.

 

That Suzaku—the Suzaku who had actually believed in something pure—was dead, just like the Suzaku behind Zero's mask had said. His body might still be alive, but only because someone needed to carry the weight of symbol Lelouch vi Britannia had created. There was nothing left of the person Suzaku could have been, had he just been given the chance.

The sound of soft footsteps startled him from his thoughts. Tohdoh turned, his hand instinctively going to his sword. After all the time he'd spent as a soldier, in an occupied Britannian 'area', it was an ingrained response.

The new arrival did not seem frightened by his reaction. "Tohdoh Kyoshiro," C.C. said as she walked within view. "What a surprise. I did not expect to see you of all people here."

Despite her words, she did not appear to be that surprised. Her voice held no inflection and her face was as blank and stoic as ever. She had always been a mystery to Tohdoh, and Lelouch's death hadn't changed that.

Either way, he had no desire to attack her. "C.C., what are you doing here?" he asked.

"Reminiscing, maybe," C.C. replied cryptically. "And you?" She threw a glance toward the burning incense and arched a brow. "Trying to chase away Lelouch's spirit?"

The words made Tohdoh wonder if perhaps Lelouch's grave was nearby. He wanted to ask, but he suspected C.C. would never tell him, even if it was true.

He shook his head. "No. Even if I did have that intention, such a ritual would not work." Lelouch had done a lot of evil things, but he had not been evil. Tohdoh believed that. "I was merely honoring a memory and acknowledging a regret."

"Well, by all means. Don't let me stop you."

She leaned against the wall of the little house and watched the incense sticks burning. Tohdoh felt uncomfortable with her presence. After all, there was a reason why he'd come here alone.

But asking her to leave would probably not have much of an effect and the idea of forcing the matter did not appeal in the slightest. So he just let it go and focused on the reason why he was here.

For the longest time, the two just stayed there in silence. Tohdoh watched the incense burn, remembering his last conversation with Suzaku, the emptiness in Suzaku's voice and the dull jade of his eyes. _He is dead and so am I._ He wanted to believe that it was the incense smoke that made his eyes sting, but he knew that wasn't it.

Once the incense was burnt out, he bowed and clapped his hands, sending a small prayer out to the gods. Once he was done, he packed everything up, including the incense ashes. It would be better to leave them in the temple than here.

Without looking at C.C., he turned on his heel and exited the small house.

He only realized she had followed him when she spoke again. "What did you truly intend?" he asked. "By coming here?"

"Perhaps I just wanted to help ease Lelouch's soul into the afterlife. To give at least one of them peace."

"I am sorry to disappoint you, but that won't happen," C.C. replied. "Lelouch can't ever let go. Not anytime soon, at least."

The certainty in her words startled Tohdoh. "How do you mean?" he inquired, freezing in his tracks. She stopped walking too, but did not look at him, choosing to stare into the distance instead.

Could Lelouch still be alive? He didn't know how he felt about the idea when it was so obvious that Suzaku thought differently.

"I'm not sure if you're aware, but Lelouch's Geass was a... gift from me," C.C. said. "Because of this and for a myriad of other reasons I won't bore you with, I still have a connection with him. I can hear him occasionally. Connect with his soul, so to speak."

That sounded insane, but then again, so did a supernatural ability to mind control people into doing whatever the user of said ability pleased.

"And he... lingers on?" he found himself asking, even if he wasn't sure he believed it.

"He worries," C.C. replied with a small, mysterious smile. "He always worries, even now, for the people he left behind, for the burden he placed on them. That probably won't ever change."

When she glanced at him, her eyes seemed to glow with an otherworldly light. "Tohdoh Kyoshiro... Do you believe in miracles?"

Miracles? What did she mean by that? He had been called Tohdoh of Miracles due to him managing to beat the Britannians at Itsukushima. But that hadn't been a miracle—it had been a strategic victory caused by the fact that Tohdoh knew the terrain and the Britannians did not.

Zero had been called a man of miracles too. Was that what C.C. was referring to?

He did not know, but the way she was looking at him, expectant, forced him to provide an answer regardless. "I believe in the power of the human heart." That much was true, at least.

He didn't think his answer was what C.C. had been hoping for, which was why he was surprised when she actually offered him a small smile. She did not acknowledge his words in any other way, though. Instead, she asked, "Tohdoh, do you know why snow is white?"

That... That was an even weirder inquiry, and he truly had no idea how he was supposed to answer. Maybe she didn't expect him to at all, because she provided the reply herself. "It's because it's forgotten what color it's supposed to be."

Suddenly, C.C. made a grab for his hand. She moved so quickly that he didn't get the chance to draw his sword. As she took hold of his wrist, every muscle in his body seemed to freeze. It was like a snake bite, and Tohdoh berated himself for lowering his guard around a woman he had known was very dangerous.

It had not occurred to him that she might be angry at them for their betrayal of Lelouch. She had always insisted that her relationship with Zero was merely one of convenience, and while she had helped Lelouch in his time as an Emperor, she had disappeared after and not shown any sign of wanting to either help or hinder them. But perhaps he'd been wrong to believe she had forgotten about their mistakes, just like that.

"You too have forgotten what you're supposed to be," she murmured, her eyes glowing even brighter.  Her hair started to float, exposing a bright red mark on her forehead. "But you're finally remembering. And maybe it's not too late, not yet... Not too late for a miracle."

The world blurred around him, and Tohdoh caught a few glimpses of a place he was only distantly familiar with. He saw a group of young people, gathering together in the halls of Ashford Academy. He did not recognize all of them, but Lelouch was there, together with Suzaku, Empress Nunnally, Kallen and Rolo. He thought the girl with glasses might be Nina Einstein, the inventor of the FLEIJA, but he could have been wrong, since he'd never met her in person.

Weirdly, C.C. was present as well, dressed in the same white straightjacket she had worn in the days before the First Black Rebellion. Everyone else—including Suzaku—was wearing regular school clothes.

Was it a memory? An illusion? Tohdoh didn't know. He didn't get the chance to figure it out either. The figures began to dissipate... and so did he.

A cold numbness set over him, and Tohdoh's consciousness began to be consumed by the darkness. His last thought went to Chiba. Knowing Nagisa, she would be the one to track him down and find his body. He mentally apologized to her for making her go through such an ordeal after the war was over, and then everything went dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT NOTE:  
> Tohdoh uses some Japanese religious practices. I mostly went with a Buddhist version, but I am not actually Buddhist, so my apologies if I did not get it right. Mostly, I wanted to add something spiritual that would fit the chapter. There's only so much Google can do. Even if the details may not be accurate, do take it in the spirit in which it was meant.  
> Obviously, the chapter contains references to the picture drama Miraculous Birthday. You don't need to worry about it if you haven't seen it or anything, but it is relevant. All you need to know is that in the OVA, Lelouch uses his power from the afterlife to create an illusion that helps him say goodbye to his friends. Nunnally calls it a "miracle" only possible on that day. (Thus the spiritual stuff on Tohdoh's side).  
> And finally, the second Suzaku screenshot is pre-Requiem, from the battle with Bismark, but I always thought that look was one of his fiercest, coldest ones, so it fit the before and after thing I decided to add.


	3. Groundhog Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, the back in time finally begins! I hope you like it and enjoy my characterization of Tohdoh! Every comment is a hug for Suzaku-kun!

"Tohdoh-san! Tohdoh-san!"

A distant, but familiar voice reached out to Tohdoh, shaking him from the dark depths of unconsciousness. Groaning, Tohdoh reached for his aching head. "What... What happened?"

"You collapsed right in front of me," came the reply. "Are you feeling better?"

Tohdoh would have probably said 'yes' had he not recognized the identity of the speaker at that exact moment. His eyes shot open and he found himself facing a concerned Taizo Kirihara.

By some miracle, he managed not to let out a scream, but he did recoil. He was already on the floor, though, which led him to sort of scuttle back like an upended turtle. Distantly, he realized it must have looked very undignified and out of character, but he couldn't have cared less.

Kirihara's expression grew even warier. "Tohdoh-san? What is the matter? You look like you've seen a ghost."

That was a very accurate comment. Kirihara had been killed shortly after the failure of the First Black Rebellion, executed by Britannia as a traitor to the crown. How could he be here?

Right. Tohdoh could remember now. He had been killed by the witch. Damn it.

"I apologize," he said as he struggled to his feet. "I was merely surprised at seeing you."

Also, this was not how he'd imagined the afterlife would be. Then again, what did he truly know about such things? Apparently, Lelouch could talk to the witch from beyond the grave, so why would Tohdoh not be able to communicate with other deceased individuals?

Kirihara did not seem inclined to accept the explanation. "Surprised?" he repeated. "We've been in a meeting for the past half an hour. Perhaps I should summon a physician."

A meeting? What?

At Kirihara's words, Tohdoh finally took a good look around. He recognized the setting now. He was in Kirihara's private quarters at the Kururugi shrine.

The furniture was in perfect condition, everything immaculate and crisp. It was like... like it had been untouched by time.

Come to think of it, Kirihara looked a little different too. Younger, but also somewhat... less burdened, perhaps?

His heart hammering, Tohdoh stole a look out the window. The sun had already set, but through the moonlight, Tohdoh could catch glimpses of the trees around the shrine. The chirping of the cicadas filled the air, louder than it should have been due to the silence in the office.

It was definitely not December 5 any longer.

"Kirihara-dono... There's no need for you to be concerned. Just tell me one thing. What date is it today?"

"It is June 25," Kirihara replied. He was clearly moments away from summoning the doctor he had mentioned, regardless of Tohdoh's protests.

June 25.

Oh dear God.

"2010," he said, a little numbly.

"Yes, of course," Kirihara confirmed, just like Tohdoh had known he would.

Tohdoh did not ask any further questions. If he was not mistaken, the witch truly had created the miracle she had promised him. He seemed to have come back in time and this was the last day of Genbu's life, the day Suzaku had killed his father.

Maybe it was crazy to think this was anything more than an illusion, but he simply couldn't see any reason why C.C. would go so far. If she'd been angry with them for betraying Lelouch as he had thought, she could have just killed him. He supposed there was a chance this might be only a mind game, but there was also the possibility of it being real, a second chance. Tohdoh could not risk wasting it, not when it meant it was not yet too late to keep Suzaku from becoming a patricide.

Clinging to that thought, Tohdoh rushed past Kirihara, not even sparing a moment to reassure the old man. He'd find an explanation later. For the moment, he had other priorities.

In their first life, Tohdoh and Kirihara had arrived at Genbu's office only to see the young Suzaku flee from the scene, covered in blood. They had managed to do damage control despite the boy's panic. Hopefully, this time around, it would not be necessary.

This time, Tohdoh burst into the office, only to find Suzaku charging his father. Moving quickly, Tohdoh tackled the boy before he could reach his target. The knife went flying and Suzaku stilled on the floor, underneath Tohdoh.

"Tohdoh-sensei," he whispered, his face white as bone. "I..."

Suzaku did not get the chance to finish the phrase. "Tohdoh, secure the boy," Genbu snapped. "It would seem there is something I must do, something I've left pending for far too long."

Without waiting for a response, Genbu stalked out of the office. Still shaken up by his unexpected revival, Tohdoh decided to comply with Genbu's command and took Suzaku to his room. At first, Suzaku went along with him without protest, but as soon as they were inside, he seemed to snap out of whatever trance he'd been in.

He made a dash for the door, whispering softly under his breath. "Lelouch. Nunnally. I have to help them."

Only then did Tohdoh realize the consequence of his rash intervention. Only then did he understand the meaning of Genbu's words.

Genbu was furious with his son. Whatever he had spoken about with Suzaku, he probably blamed Lelouch and Nunnally for what had just happened.

Suzaku ran outside and Tohdoh ran after him. Once in front of the shrine, he was met with a horrifying sight. The vi Britannia children had been pulled from their beds and dragged in front of the main staircase. Lelouch was trying to protect his sister, and he had already earned himself some injuries because of it.

Genbu stood in front of them like an implacable statue. Suzaku ran toward him, but was intercepted by a nearby guard. "No, Father, please!" Suzaku said, struggling in the man's hold. "Punish me! They had nothing to do with it, I promise."

Genbu did not even look at his son. He was currently talking to Kirihara, who appeared to be as horrified by the scene as Tohdoh himself. He must have decided to follow Tohdoh and had run into Genbu on the way.

"Genbu, they are only children," the old man tried to protest.

"They are Britannian royalty, and they have already done damage through their sheer presence," Genbu sneered. "I should have never allowed them to come here."

Lelouch obviously understood what this meant, because he slumped to the ground and bowed lowly. "Please... Kururugi-sama. Nunnally... Nunnally doesn't deserve this. Kill me if you must, but leave her be."

Despite the respectful stance and address, the words did not have the desired effect. Genbu tensed, his whole posture a study in fury. "How dare you think you can give me orders? Filthy Britannian brat."

And just like that, Genbu pulled out a gun and pointed it at Lelouch. For a few precious seconds, all Tohoh could think about was the fact that the Japanese didn't carry firearms with them often. The volatility of the situation with Britannia seemed to have made Genbu take a different approach.

The idle, useless, thought dissipated like smoke in the wind when Genbu pressed the trigger.

As the life faded from Lelouch vi Britannia's vibrant purple eyes, several things happened at the same time. Nunnally screamed, flailing helplessly on the ground and trying to reach for her brother. More than one Japanese guard recoiled, surprised at the brutality of the action. They might not have been happy with having the prince and princess here, but killing them like this wasn't something that sat well with them either.

And Suzaku... Suzaku went crazy. The hesitation of the adults around him allowed him to free himself. Somehow, he managed to steal Senba's katana. Now armed, he lunged at his father like a mad thing.

Genbu was older and slower than Suzaku, but he still had a gun. It did not help that the size of the katana hindered Suzaku. It all happened so fast. Tohdoh could do nothing but watch in horror as Genbu shot his own son.

The young Suzaku fell, the katana sliding from his limp fingers. Tohdoh finally managed to snap out of his trance and rushed to the side of the boy. Genbu had not even bothered to aim for a non-lethal spot. Suzaku was dying.

"Le-Lelouch..." Suzaku whispered before he heaved his last breath in Tohdoh s arms.

Tohdoh felt cold, and the world went black all over again.

****

The second time he woke up, Tohdoh did not panic over Kirihara's presence. Instead, he waved off the old man's concerns, rushed past him and went directly to Genbu's office. The argument between Genbu and his son was still ongoing.

He burst in just as Suzaku was picking up the knife. When Suzaku saw him, he dropped the blade, all color draining from his face. "Tohdoh-sensei... I..."

Like before, Genbu did not allow his son to provide an explanation for his action. "Tohdoh, secure the boy. It would seem..."

The reiteration of the words that had precluded the disaster during his previous attempt just made Tohdoh angrier. It was not difficult for him to lunge forward and use his own katana on Genbu.

He should not have felt such satisfaction at killing the man he had once respected, if not liked, but he could not help himself. Something dark and furious had settled in his heart when Suzaku had died in his arms. It might not have happened in this lifetime, or in their first, but it had happened nonetheless, and it was unforgivable.

As Tohdoh's blade pierced his flesh, Genbu's eyes went wide with shock. "To-Tohdoh," he stammered. "Why..."

He genuinely did not seem to understand why Tohdoh had done this. It made sense. Tohdoh had never been a man to act violently without provocation and he far preferred preventing conflict rather than stopping it. But this was one case in which he was willing to make an exception.

Unfortunately, Tohdoh once again wildly underestimated the consequences of his actions, and he only realized this when Genbu was already dead. Tohdoh turned to look at Suzaku, planning to check up on boy he had come here to save.

Their eyes met, and in Suzaku's bright emerald orbs, Tohdoh saw not only shock, but also hatred. Tohdoh did not get the chance to explain before Suzaku pounced at him, the knife once again in his hands.

It was so surprising Tohdoh could not dodge and avoid the disaster. A piercing pain exploded in his lower midsection. He let out a choked gasp and collapsed to his knees, clutching the bleeding wound.

Suzaku stumbled back, his face now filled with horror and self-loathing. Tohdoh reached for the boy with blood-stained fingers. He wanted to tell the child not to blame himself, but the words didn't come.

The chill settled over him once again, and Tohdoh's world went black.

This was getting a little repetitive.

****

During his third attempt at getting things right—or fourth, if he included his first lifetime—Tohdoh took a different approach. In hindsight, it was obvious that Suzaku would lash out at anyone who would kill his father and turn on them. Suzaku's relationship with Genbu had always been rocky, but still, Genbu was his parent and Suzaku loved him, thus his profound shock and guilt at having killed him in their 'first life'.

Tohdoh might have tried to intervene in some other way had he awakened sooner, but with the limited time at his disposal, he had no choice but to let Suzaku kill his father.

Technically, if he interrupted the argument before Suzaku actually attacked, he might be able to prevent Genbu taking out his anger on Lelouch and Nunnally. But on the other hand, Tohdoh now truly believed that, like Lelouch had said the day he had freed Tohdoh from his Britannian prison, Genbu's death had helped Japan in the long run. It was necessary.

Certainly, Tohdoh could attempt a sneakier approach and assassinate Genbu himself at a later date, but he had no idea how that would affect things. Would Kirihara even be willing to cover the whole thing up if Suzaku wasn't involved? What about Suzaku himself? Would his father's death cause him to hate his Britannian friends? That would be bad, as Tohdoh had no doubt Lelouch and Suzaku needed to stay together in order to free Japan. They would need Lelouch in the future, and should Suzaku reject Lelouch now, the consequences could be disastrous.

Taking all that into consideration, after he 'woke up' the third time, Tohdoh continued his conversation with the concerned Kirihara and waited a little longer. Every passing second grated on him, and a voice was screaming at the back of his mind. He had a chance to change things. How could he possibly waste it by sitting around doing nothing?

That was exactly what he did, though, at least for as long as he could bear it. Once the wait grew impossible to endure, he ended the meeting. "My apologies, Kirihara-dono. I just remembered I had to talk to Kururugi-sama about an important matter."

"I see," Kirihara said. "Well then, by all means. Why don't we head that way together? I planned on speaking with Genbu as well."

Maybe it was true. He didn't remember why he and Kirihara had decided to go see Genbu during the first timeline. It was beside the point.

They made their way to Genbu's office and arrived just in time to witness a horrifying scene.

Technically, they only caught a glimpse of it through the paper doors, but it would have been enough to tell Tohdoh something was very wrong even if he hadn't already known what was waiting for him inside that room.

He ran forward, Kirihara still trailing behind him. For what seemed like the millionth time that day, he burst into Genbu's office.

Suzaku turned toward him, his knife dropping from his limp fingers. "To-Tohdoh-sensei... I..."

In front of him, Genbu was already bleeding out. Tohdoh ignored the body and rushed to Suzaku's side. He knelt in front of the boy, deliberately blocking Suzaku's view of his father.

"It's all right," he said. "You did the right thing. Genbu's pride would have led Japan to its downfall."

"He... He wanted to kill Nunnally too. I heard him talking with someone from Bri-Britannia. On the phone. I... I..."

That was odd. Tohdoh had not known that before. Who could have contacted Genbu to arrange Nunnally's assassination? No wonder Genbu had been so quick to turn on the vi Britannia children.

It was even clearer now that Suzaku had only acted because he'd been backed into a corner, and Tohdoh would never blame the boy for being influenced by his desire to protect his friends. "It's all right," he said again. "You did well. You acted honorably. You're a good boy, Suzaku-kun."

Suzaku collapsed in Tohdoh's arms like a puppet with his strings cut. Still holding Suzaku, Tohdoh got up. He shared a look with Kirihara, who had been standing in the doorway, watching the scene.

Kirihara said nothing. Instead, he simply nodded. Tohdoh knew without being told that Kirihara would act the same way he had in their first life. He would make the death look like a suicide, thus ensuring the surrender of the Japanese and the survival of the resistance.

Tohdoh could trust him with that. He had a different task.

He carried the boy to his room, running quickly through the corridors and avoiding all the staff. Once they were inside, he removed Suzaku's blood-stained clothes and washed down the unresponsive child.

He had done something similar the first time around too, since even then, he had not wanted Suzaku to be punished for his actions. But his aid and interest had stopped after that night and he had abandoned Suzaku once he had made sure no one would know his secret.

This time, he did not do the same. He considered his next actions closely before finally making a decision.

He dressed Suzaku in clean, warm clothes and carried him out of the room. The corridors of the shrine were still empty. Kirihara was undoubtedly doing damage control even now. Tohdoh had never been more grateful for the assistance of the cunning old man.

He left the main structure and went around it and up the long stairs, much like he had during his first life, when he had come here to send out a prayer for the Demon Emperor's soul. The door of the small house had no real lock, so it was easy for him to open it.

Lelouch must have still been awake, because he appeared within view almost instantly. His piercing amethyst eyes widened when they fell upon the unconscious Suzaku. "Tohdoh-sensei? What's happened? Is Suzaku all right?"

"Lelouch-kun, I need you to stay with Suzaku. Keep him company. There's been an... incident. Genbu is dead."

All the color drained out of Lelouch's face. "Dead? But how? But... Are we... Nunnally and I... Are we safe?"

"You're safe. It wasn't Britannia. Officially... It was suicide."

He looked down at the unconscious Suzaku and shot Lelouch a serious look. Lelouch's mouth opened and closed. He seemed to be silently hyperventilating.

The moment passed quickly, though, and determination replaced fear and shock on Lelouch's face. "I understand, Tohdoh-sensei. I will do my very best to protect Suzaku."

Tohdoh thought about a different timeline, when Lelouch had tried so very hard to keep Suzaku alive despite the fact that Suzaku was fighting for the Britannians. "I know you will, Lelouch-kun," he whispered as he gently placed Suzaku on the small cot, next to a still sleeping Nunnally. "And I think that you are the only one who can help him now."

It might have been a lot of pressure to put on a child, but Tohdoh knew Lelouch could handle it. He threw one more glance toward the three children and then left the little hovel. He had work to do.


	4. Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am back with more of young Suzaku and Lelouch and more parental Tohdoh! Hope you like the update! Remember, comments and kudos are love and hugs for baby-Zaku and Lulu!

Suzaku didn't reappear around the house for days after the so-called suicide. Not wanting to make the same mistake, Tohdoh regularly checked up on him, even if it meant intruding on his privacy.

He always found Suzaku with his Britannian friends. Nunnally seemed to be trying to cheer him up with her own personal brand of unexplainable endless joy and Lelouch was always within touching distance. He made sure Suzaku ate and did not allow him to fall into a dangerous depression.

Tohdoh first spoke with Suzaku when the time came for Genbu's funeral rites. Nunnally and Lelouch dropped by only briefly to pay their respects and they were quickly ushered off by Kirihara. Naturally, Suzaku stayed throughout the whole process.

As they watched the funeral pyre, Suzaku finally addressed Tohdoh. "You said that... You said that I did the right thing. Did you mean it, Tohdoh-sensei?"

"Of course. Sometimes, sacrifices are necessary to protect what we value most. We all know that. Unfortunately, Genbu valued his pride more than he did his people. We should have intervened sooner, before this became necessary, but that is not your fault. Never doubt the fact that you acted in defense of the Japanese people."

Suzaku nodded. "Thank you, Tohdoh-san."

Shadows danced over his face, emanating from the pyre, a strange echo of the new shadow on Suzaku's soul. Tohdoh desperately wished he could have spared Suzaku from this pain, and he would never forgive himself for his inability to do so. Maybe even miracles had their limits, or maybe it was just that Tohdoh couldn't see all the potential of his current situation.

Either way, he would make the most of his current path and do right by his young student.

Watching the fire burn in front of him, Tohdoh was reminded of the destruction that would soon engulf Japan. There was no way to stop the invasion, he knew that. But with the knowledge that he had, he could at least do a little more damage control, preserve their forces, perhaps save more civilians and make preparations for the future.

And there was one other thing he needed to decide.

In the first timeline, Suzaku and his two Britannian friends had been lost in the chaos of the invasion. Tohdoh had never seen Suzaku again until that fateful day, when the Black Knights—or rather, Lelouch—had saved him from being executed. As far as he knew, Kirihara had briefly watched over the boy, but Suzaku had just disappeared one day and told the old man nothing of his plans to become an Honorary.

As for Lelouch and Nunnally, even Kirihara had thought them dead. Tohdoh now knew they had been in hiding with the Ashfords all along.

The question was... Should Tohdoh allow the Britannian children to go on their way like they had in their first life, or should he keep them close?

The image of Zero leading scores of Japanese citizens flashed through Tohdoh's mind. That right there should have been Tohdoh's answer.

This Lelouch might not be Zero, not yet, but he didn't belong with the Britannians either. He belonged with the Japanese.

Despite this knowledge, Tohdoh realized with a pained heart that Lelouch would never be allowed to stay. His authority, while considerable, was limited. General Katase wasn't likely to turn on the children like Genbu had, but he would probably not be inclined to give them a warm welcome either. They would still be the offspring of the man who had stolen Japan from them, after all. Then there were others, like that fool Kusakabe, who would be even more extreme.

No, Lelouch and Nunnally staying with the JLF was not an option. He'd have to think of another option. It was up to Tohdoh now to make sure Lelouch never had to become the Demon Emperor and Suzaku the White Reaper, and preserving the friendship between the two boys would be crucial in that long term goal.

Tohdoh only hoped that his efforts would be enough.

****

As expected, Tohdoh later became engaged in more battles than he could count. His knowledge of the future helped him like he had hoped, and he managed to squeeze in a few more victories. Unfortunately, this did nothing to actually help them, and he knew that in the big picture, it would not matter.

Besides, his purpose had never been prolonging the war. Genbu could have done that. No, his purpose was preserving as much as he could, and that was exactly the strategy he took. Kirihara knew about it, of course, and he agreed with Tohdoh. He knew that they'd have to lose this one just so that they could have a hope to win in the future. It was a bitter pill to swallow, but Tohdoh knew it could not be helped.

Despite the distraction of the war, the news of the disappearance of the three children still made him break out in cold sweat. It would be so easy for Lelouch and Suzaku to get caught now. Just the fact that he was doing things differently on the front could lead them to run into soldiers who hadn't been there before.

He thought about the route the children were most likely to take. The shrine was located on Mt. Fuji, and the boys would be making their way down, toward Tokyo. While there had been bombardments in that area, foot soldiers and knightmare units had not yet managed to gain access. Tohdoh would just have to make sure things stayed that way, insofar as it was possible, at least.

He wished he remembered better what he had done the first time, but in this instance, the devil was in the details, so he could not be sure he would get everything 100% right.

His strategy didn't work as well as he hoped. Britannians splintered the frontline and massacred everything in sight. Tohdoh managed to evacuate most of the civilians, but there was still no news of the children. The only thing that brought him comfort was the fact that this timeline had not yet ended. He interpreted this as meaning that Suzaku, at least, was still alive.

His guess was proven correct when his student popped back on the map at a garrison near Tokyo. As soon as he heard, Tohdoh ordered for the child to be brought to safety. His time was not his own, damn it all to hell, but as soon as he managed to steal a free moment, he made his way to the shelter where Suzaku had ended up.

"Suzaku-kun," he greeted the boy. "Hello. I'm greatly relieved to see you safe."

"Thank you, Tohdoh-sensei," Suzaku replied. He sounded distant, lost. Tohdoh couldn't blame him.

"I'm sorry we could not find you sooner," Tohdoh continued, knowing he couldn't abandon the conversation yet. "What of your friends?"

Instantly, Suzaku's demeanor changed, and he went rigid. "They... uh... left."

He was obviously reluctant to say more. Perhaps Lelouch had told him the truth about where he was headed, but Suzaku did not trust Tohdoh with that knowledge. Taking into account the circumstances, Tohdoh could understand that, but he did want to make it clear to Suzaku that he was not the enemy here.

With that thought in mind, Tohdoh squeezed Suzaku's shoulder. "I'm sure you'll see them again. In fact, I will make you a promise. Once the situation is a little more stable, I will try to speak to Kirihara and see if we can locate them."

Suzaku stared at him in a mix of shock, hope and awe. "Really? But... They're Britannian royalty. Doesn't it bother you?"

"Prince Lelouch and Princess Nunnally shouldn't have to pay for the crimes of their father, just like you shouldn't have had to suffer for your father's misdeeds," Tohdoh replied. "So no. It doesn't bother me."

"Thank you, Tohdoh-sensei," Suzaku said again. This time, it sounded far more honest, and he actually teared up a little.

Tohdoh had very rarely seen Suzaku cry. Genbu had actively attempted to stomp out every weakness out of his son. Tohdoh had never been quite so extreme. He himself had never been an emotional man, and he did believe that there was no room for tears on the battlefield. Nevertheless, in that moment, Tohdoh entertained the strange thought that it was actually nice to see Suzaku display that kind of emotion. It was a stark contrast to the Suzaku Tohdoh had left behind in their first life, the one hiding behind the Zero mask.

Perhaps that was what made him kneel next to Suzaku and wrap his arms around his young student. "It's going to be all right, Suzaku-kun. I know things seem hopeless now, but our people will survive this too."

Suzaku slumped against his shoulder, clutching the material of Tohdoh's uniform, taking comfort in Tohdoh's presence much like he had the night he had killed his own father. "Lelouch said... He said that he wanted to obliterate Britannia. I... I'm afraid for him."

The shocking admission made Tohdoh wonder to what point this fear had affected Suzaku's choices in their first timeline. Had Suzaku always actually hoped to be reunited with his friends in some way? Was that truly the reason why he had decided to be an Honorary?

He would never know, as he aimed to avoid that at all costs. "Don't be. I'm sure we'll find a way to protect him. He may not be able to stay here, but he won't be without help. That, I promise you."

When he released Suzaku from his embrace, he was gratified to see Suzaku a little more upbeat. And later, as he watched his student go, Tohdoh wondered why he had not helped Suzaku the first time. How could he have discarded Suzaku's well-being as irrelevant when the boy had so clearly needed someone and might have very well been looking to the adults around him to not only anchor him, but show him what to do?

Perhaps that was the key to the whole puzzle. Perhaps the reasons for Suzaku's actions had been mixed—his guilt over his father's death, his need to be with his friends, but also ultimately, Kirihara's own actions, the fact that the old man had in his own way chosen to work with the Britannians, even if he was betraying them behind their backs.

Well, Tohdoh would definitely not allow that to happen this time. If he had a say, Suzaku would never have to bend his knee to Britannia ever again, nor would he have to be humiliated, beaten and treated like trash due to his ancestry. No, Suzaku would stay here, and he would be protected, at all costs and in every way.

Of course, that meant that Tohdoh also had to keep his promise to Suzaku with regard to his friends. It took him some time to be able to do this, but after things quieted down a bit, he managed to make his way to Ashford Academy. Naturally, he could not go inside, but intercepting Shinozaki Sayoko on one of her shopping trips was not that much of a challenge. She was younger, but she was already showing the signs of the loyalty that had, in their past life, caused her to stay by Lelouch's side up to the very end. Lelouch and Nunnally must've made an impression very quickly.

She was more than happy to contact Lelouch on Tohdoh's behalf. Two days later, through some extra effort of Tohdoh and Sayoko's part, Suzaku received a letter from the Britannian prince.

Tohdoh was the one who handed it to him. When he saw the writing on the envelope, Suzaku went a little pale. Clearly, he feared for his friends' safety. Having seen the anger and hatred already festering in the hearts of the Japanese, Tohdoh could understand.

"It's all right, Suzaku-kun. This will be our secret. We'd never endanger your friends."

Suzaku took the letter with trembling hands and clutched it to his chest. "Thank you, Tohdoh-sensei," he said, bowing lowly. "Thank you."

Tohdoh felt a powerful surge of affection for both Suzaku and the Britannian child who had befriended him. He still didn't completely understand their bond, but its existence was undeniable.

"It was my greatest pleasure. Go on now. Read your letter. I'm sure the prince will be expecting a response."

Suzaku bowed again and fled, a wide smile now on his lips. He never told Tohdoh what the prince had written to him, but whatever it was, it visibly improved Suzaku's mood. His eyes sparked with brilliant emerald fire once again. He threw himself into his training like never before. Tohdoh could only hope it was a good sign. He never wanted to see Suzaku lose that fire again.


	5. Dear Lelouch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Update! Thank you to everyone who commented on the last chapter! I hope you enjoyed this one too! The story will start focusing a little more heavily on our boys from now on. Parent!Tohdoh will still show up, but we'll also start to see the consequences of his actions in Suzaku and Lelouch.

2010, a.t.b.

Dear Suzaku,

When we received the message from Tohdoh-sensei, Nunnally and I were both so very relieved. Ever since our separation from you, we have been so worried about your well-being. I didn't mention it to Nunnally, but I feared that you might have been caught in the last of the bombings and that we would never see you again.

It truly seems like a miracle to hear news of you so soon, even if it is from someone else.

As planned, we have made our way to the Ashfords, and they have taken us in. Lord Ashford has made a great deal of allowances for us, especially for Nunnally's special needs. We have been assigned an apartment in the Student Council Building in Ashford Academy, and Milly Ashford's maid, Sayoko, is helping me take care of Nunnally. I'm not sure if you're aware, but she is the one who helped Tohdoh-sensei convey this message to you. She is also helping me with my kanji and my spoken Japanese, although naturally, I am keeping these lessons secret. Since Nunnally, you and I are unlikely to leave Japan anytime soon, it is necessary that I improve.

We have reignited our tentative friendship with Milly and we'll probably be going to school once term start, under fake names. Lord Ashford is preparing fake identification for us, and officially, we will be here as his wards, distant relatives on Milly's mother side.

I am not completely convinced that we are safe, since it is common knowledge that the Ashfords supported my mother and someone may come looking. But I am confident that we are as safe as we can be at this time and I will be taking steps to improve our circumstances as soon as I am able.

Meanwhile, rumor has it that the new governor will be my brother Clovis. This gives me a measure of hope. Clovis is an artistic soul, and he's less likely to lash out against the Japanese than Cornelia or others.

But enough about us. What about you? How are you doing, truly? How are things with your family, with your people? Is Kaguya well?

Please write soon. We are anxious to hear more news of you, from your own hand.

Your still concerned friend,

Lelouch

P.S. I hate to ask this, but once you read the letter, please burn it. It does hold some sensitive information, and we cannot afford risking it getting in the wrong hands.

 

Dear Lelouch,

You don't need to worry about me so much. I'm fine. Well, mostly.

I miss you and Nunnally a lot. Things just aren't the same without you two. I keep thinking about the shed, our field of sunflowers, about that hill we'd climb together. Even if I did have to pull you up half the time. I miss that too, I think.

Do you suppose we could go back there together again, one day? Not now, but maybe sometime in the future? I'd really like it, I think.

To be honest, Lelouch, people are very angry here. We're in hiding and still gathering our scattered troops, but there's so much hate for Britannia. I've been afraid for you too. Be careful and don't take any risks, okay? Japan isn't safe, not for anyone, and especially not for you and Nunnally.

As for me, I am right now staying with Tohdoh-sensei. I heard that originally, Kirihara-dono offered to take me, but Tohdoh-sensei said no. Kirihara-dono's position will be too exposed to Britannia for me to be safe with him, so I will be remaining with the JLF.

I'm actually a little happy about that. Tohdoh-sensei has been very kind. Some days, I don't know what to make of it. He didn't seem that pleased about my friendship with you and Nunnally back at the shrine. I guess that could be because I kept losing my concentration during lessons. You know he doesn't stand for that. I'm trying harder now, because I want to be prepared for later.

When we grow up, Lelouch, I want to help you. I want us to be together again. I don't know when it will happen, but that is my dream.

I've only seen Kaguya a few times since I met up with Tohdoh-sensei. She's all right, but very scared and upset. She won't be staying with us, I don't think. It's probably for the best.

Sometimes, I get this feeling, that the others are staring at me, that they know about me.... That they know. I don't think that's true, but at the same time...

Anyway, don't worry about me. I'll be fine. Say hello to Nunnally for me and please write back soon.

Your relieved friend,

Suzaku

P.S. I will be burning the letters like you said, although I'm not happy about it.

 

 

Dear Suzaku,

Thank you for writing back so quickly. We were very happy to receive real news from you.

I have fond recollections of our field of sunflowers as well, although I can't quite say the same about climbing the hill. Do not smirk at me. I can practically see you doing it. It's hardly my fault that you're so athletic and I have more intellectual interests.

Either way, I miss it too. One day, Suzaku, I promise we will go there again. No matter how long it takes us, we will go back, and we will stand out in the open. And you will not be an Eleven—as they've taken to calling Japanese now, damn them—and I will not be Lelouch vi Britannia, exiled prince. Just Lelouch and Suzaku, living in a world free of Britannia's oppression. It won't be now. Like you said, I can't afford to take any chances, not with Nunnally's safety. But it will happen. I promise. I will obliterate Britannia.

That being said, I am glad you are staying with Tohdoh-sensei. I have the utmost faith in him. I think he may have realized back at the shrine that our friendship was genuine, and that may have changed his opinion about me. He wouldn't be facilitating our letter exchange otherwise.

Do convey my gratitude to him again. I've sent him my thanks through Sayoko, but I know he'd appreciate it more coming from you.

Now, about the other thing you mentioned. There is no way anyone knows, Suzaku. Kirihara-dono and Tohdoh-sensei would've never mentioned it, and I haven't breathed a word, not even to Nunnally.

It's more likely that they're resentful of what they _think_ happened. Your father's death did lead to the collapse of the resistance, after all.

But even if they do dislike you, for whatever reason, you shouldn't care about that. Remember what I told you when we were at the shrine. Back in Britannia, everyone hated Nunnally and me because our mother was a commoner. They called me the Pauper Prince and her the Paperbag Princess. I know that it must have played a part in my mother's death, and one day, I will find the culprit. But for now, what matters is that the fault was with them, never with us.

It is the same for you. No matter what anyone might think, you are a hero, Suzaku. There is no doubt in my mind that without you, Nunnally and I would be as dead as our family believes us to be. The price you had to pay for it grieves me, but never forget that you saved us. And never forget that no matter what everyone else says, I will always be by your side.

Always your friend,

Lelouch

P.S. Attached, please find a separate letter from Nunnally, written by me, but dictated by her, as well as a little extra something, as a keepsake to remember us until we see each other again.

P.S.S. I hope you are eating. If you are not, Nunnally will be very disappointed in you.

 

Dear Lelouch,

Thank you for writing again so quickly. I'm so happy to have received it, even if I'm not really sure what to write back.

Not much has happened since our last letter. Everyone seems very anxious to just do something. General Kusakabe wants to stage a counterattack as soon as possible, but everybody knows it won't happen. Tohdoh-sensei says that if we are to have any hope to defeat the Britannians, we must take our time and beat them on their own playing field. Whatever that means.

Anyway, all this actually reminds me a little of the time before the invasion, which isn't great. But I think that Tohdoh-sensei will allow me to join the war effort properly sometime in the future, so there is that.

And... Thank you. I know that I did ~~the~~ ~~right~~ what I had to do, but I don't... I wish that... Tohdoh-sensei says that I...

Just thank you. I will always be your friend too, Lelouch, and always by your side. We'll make this better. Together. I believe that.

Thank Nunnally for me, will you? I honestly don't know how she does it, but her words always manage to cheer me up. And don't worry! I am eating. Tohdoh-sensei is an even harsher taskmaster with my diet than he is with my training.

Always looking forward to your next letter.

Your friend,

Suzaku

P.S. I loved the origami. Where did you learn how to make it?

****

2012, a.t.b.

Dear Lelouch,

I'm sorry for not being able to write last week, but there's been some movement in this area from Britannian patrols and Tohdoh-sensei says that we need to be even more careful with the letters, since getting caught would be disastrous.

I hope you and Nunnally are doing well. General Katase said that Prince Clovis is getting more active. You're not in any danger of being found, are you?

Things are settling down a bit more here. I think people are finally understanding that we'll need to be patient to get Japan back. I heard that there's a project in place to build us knightmares, so that probably has something to do with it. It's actually pretty exciting. I think that maybe, I want to learn how to pilot one too.

Tohdoh-sensei says I need to step up my training if I want to become a knightmare pilot in the future. It sounds difficult, but I'm determined to do my best.

What about you? Are you still thinking of starting those lessons with Sayoko?

Write back soon.

Your friend,

Suzaku

 

Dear Suzaku,

As always, I am very happy to hear from you. Thank you for writing as soon as you were able. Nunnally and I worry, you know that.

As for ourselves, we are fine. Nunnally is doing well with her studies in Braille and I have started lessons with Sayoko. I am already beginning to regret it, since she would give Tohdoh-sensei a run for his money. I do think she is being easy on me, but I still feel like I'm one giant bruise whenever I get back from training.

At least the dance lessons from Britannia weren't a complete waste of my time. Sayoko said that they helped develop my flexibility some. Otherwise, I would be in a far worse position than I already am. I know, it's difficult to imagine. Don't laugh.

In any case, I've been reading up on recent medical advancements and I have confidence that in time, Britannian medical care will advance far enough to allow Nunnally to walk again. I am not sure about her sight, since the problem is trauma-induced, but I refuse to abandon hope.

One day, my sister will see and walk again, and you and I will hold her hands and show her a free Japan.

I am pleased to hear the JLF are making progress in supplying the resistance with proper weaponry. I've actually been thinking about learning how to pilot a knightmare too. There is one at Ashford, the original test model which my mother used. I've been looking at it a bit, and I plan to try to steal a few moments with it, even if convincing Lord Ashford to get the damn thing out in the open will undoubtedly be difficult.

I am also making plans on how to help you and the rebellion more in the long run. There's not much we can do right now. We have to be very careful, for Nunnally's sake. But once we are older and I am completely convinced that Nunnally has a safe place, we can truly start our campaign against Britannia.

Do remember that both Nunnally and I miss you dearly and take care of yourself.

Your loyal friend,

Lelouch

 

Dear Lelouch,

I'm happy to hear that you're doing well and that you think Nunnally's condition can improve in the future. I wish we could have helped in some way before the invasion, ~~but my father had to go and try to.~~ I suppose we couldn't have done it anyway, since as far as I know, our medicine isn't nearly so advanced. But you are right in that we can't give up, no matter what, and I think Nunnally would agree.

In the meantime, be careful, Lelouch. Tohdoh-sensei said that he would only allow me in a knightmare once I'm older, after hours of simulators and under supervision. I'm not sure it's safe for you to mess with the knightmare at Ashford, especially not now. Also, what kind of plans are you making? Should I be worried? Because, I'm not going to lie, I'm a little worried.

Always your friend,

Suzaku

 

Suzaku,

Give me some credit, will you? You know I wouldn't take unnecessary risks. I'm aware that you and Nunnally need me.

The knightmare at Ashford is nothing like the weaponized ones that the resistance will probably acquire. It's stripped of pretty much everything. But even so, I will be careful, I promise.

A shame I can't get access to a simulator here. That would be very helpful. I'm a little jealous of you now, Suzaku.

As for the rest of my plans, I have given the matter some thought and I have surmised that my next steps should involve acquiring funds in some way and then perhaps, hacking into the security of the Britannian government. But that will take time and patience, but I'll find a way, Suzaku. I promise you that.

 Honestly, Suzaku, looking at what's been going on, I keep going over what happened in my head. I thought I knew Clovis. He was always so kind. We would sit in the garden at the Aries Villa and he would pain portraits of us, my mother, Nunnally and me.

And now, here we are, with him as a viceroy of "Area 11", and he's doing so many horrible things. I haven't even told Nunnally about some of it, because I don't want to scare her.

I wonder what else I missed when I was in Pendragon. I trusted Cornelia. I thought she was my mother's friend. But what if that was wrong too?

She was the captain of my mother's guard. She was supposed to watch over her, over us. Why didn't she?

Who really killed my mother, Suzaku? I don't know and the question keeps me up at night.

I am sorry for burdening you with my worries when you have so many of your own. Please, write back soon.

Your friend always,

Lelouch

 

Dear Lelouch,

You're never a burden to me. Don't say that, or it will make me mad, and I'll come to the Tokyo Settlement to kick your ass! Even if Tohdoh-sensei punishes me after.

You're my friend and I'd do anything for you. And I know our situations are very different but I do understand what it's like to lose a parent.

If there is anything I can do, anything at all, tell me, please. I hate feeling so helpless when I know you're suffering.

What about that thing with the security of the Britannian government? Do you think you can find clues about your mother's killer like that? Even if you do, please let me help. I know I'm not as smart as you but I can always back you up.

Also, when do you suppose we can see each other again? I asked Tohdoh-sensei and he said he'd make arrangements, but that's so vague!

Your friend,

Suzaku

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked the format I chose. I wanted a way to convey the dynamic and growth of Suzaku and Lelouch's relationship over time, and I felt that just dumping it into a flashback of narration would have fallen flat. I'm not sure how good I was at writing the way children would, but I tried and I tried to make Suzaku and Lelouch's "voices" at least a little different :)  
> The dance lessons Lelouch is referring to is the ballroom dancing he took as a child. Yes, this is canon.  
> Why is he taking lessons with Sayoko? A lot of Lelouch's character and actions have been determined by the affection he feels toward Nunnally, but also the fact that he wants to protect her. In this AU, he also feels responsible for Suzaku and wants to protect him in some way, due to Tohdoh telling him about what Suzaku did (and Suzaku later revealing the whole story, although this isn't actually shown here). So he's putting more effort into things he didn't originally do/like, which will of course have long term effects.


	6. Dear Suzaku

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter of the babies writing letters! I hope you'll like this glimpse of their growing up. I didn't go into too much detail - I do aim to get to canon this year LOL - what I intended was to show the growth of their relationship and some of what is going on behind the scenes.  
> Comments and kudos are love for the bunnies!

2014, a.t.b.

Dear Lelouch,

I'm very excited! Today, they've finally brought in the Burais we've been building. My scores in the simulators have been great, so I hope that I'll finally be able to do something practical, instead just sitting here and constantly sparring with people who are not really a challenge. I'm not actually sure how we'll field test the knightmares, but Tohdoh-sensei probably has that handled. 

The Burais are huge! To give you an idea on how they look like, I heard that they're based off the old Britannian Glasgow models, although the Indian scientist working with the Kyoto group has made some modifications. I'm really excited about the swords she added. The simulators didn't have them, so I'm very interested in what they can do.

I would have liked to ask her, but I didn't get a chance. Sometimes, it's so frustrating to be young. Everybody keeps looking down at me and treating me like a child! Even Tohdoh-sensei. Especially him.

I get the feeling that despite what he told me in the past, he really isn't keen on me doing much fighting. Does he not trust me or what, Lelouch? I've been doing my best to meet his expectations. I've followed every single rule. I try so hard, but no matter what I do, it's not good enough!

He keeps telling me that I should wait a little longer, that I'm still a child. But I don't want to wait. I want to help you, to keep our promise, to build a free world, together.

I'm sorry, Lelouch. I probably sound like a whiny brat, right now, but I can't help it. It's just that I need to know...  Have I disappointed him in some way? What am I supposed to do to make it better?

Please write back soon.

Suzaku

 

Dear Suzaku,

I completely understand your frustration. It's so annoying to always have to have a keeper whenever I go out, to be stuck pretending I'm a regular student when I've known the lessons taught here since before I even moved to Japan.

I feel trapped in this small body that refuses to grow. Even my own body is thwarting my plans, Suzaku! Honestly, if not for my side projects and your letters, I would be going mad. Still, I know we have to remain patient, lest we lose everything we've worked so hard for.

At the same time, I don't think that Tohdoh-sensei is disappointed in you. That would be ridiculous, since you've gone above and beyond what is humanly possible. I think that he worries, and I can empathize with him, a little bit, because I worry about you constantly.

Maybe you should talk to him? He's done so much for us. I can't imagine he would deliberately hinder you or that he wouldn't trust you.

Be mindful of your temper. I know, I know, I hardly have any room to judge, but just remember that even if he does temporarily tell you no, it won't be forever, and I'll still be here, no matter what.

Do ask the Indian scientist details about the swords next time you see her. Or anyone else who is available. As far as I know, the Glasgows only had Slash Harkens. I am rather curious how a Burai would compare to the knightmare module I use for my simulator.

Your friend always,

Lelouch

 

Dear Lelouch,

You were right, but then, you always are. Tohdoh-sensei said he was worried about me and he didn't want me to force myself to grow up quicker than I already am.

I came really close to shouting at him, but fortunately, I didn't. Your words really helped. Tohdoh-sensei said that if I can beat him in the simulators, he'll give me permission to go, but not until I'm at least fifteen.

I suppose I'll just have to wait until then. Having a timeline helps. I'll just focus on improving my skill until then. Blowing up virtual Britannians always makes me feel better anyway.

I spoke to Senba about the swords. He didn't really know the science behind it, but he said that they're called Revolving Blade Swords, and they'll be able to slice through the cockpit of a regular knightmare. Currently, they'll only be equipped on the knightmares of Tohdoh-sensei and the Four Holy Swords, but I think that when I do finally join active duty, I may get one too.

All those swordplay lessons may come in handy yet.

I miss you, Lelouch, but I'm clinging to the thought that you're right and this won't be forever. We'll be able to see each other more soon.

Send my dearest regards to Nunnally and Sayoko.

Your friend,

Suzaku

****

2015, a.t.b.

Dear Lelouch,

I went on my first real mission with the others today. You know I've only done reconnaissance until now, but this time, I actually got to fight Britannians.

It was a little strange. I mean, I don't know what I expected. For it to be more difficult, maybe?  For it to be more satisfying?

To tell you the truth, Lelouch, I'm not sure how I feel.

I killed for the first time today, since I... since that time.

I think I can understand why Tohdoh-sensei was worried last year, but at the same time... I don't know, Lelouch, it just doesn't really feel real. Maybe it's because it was knightmare combat, and I couldn't actually see the blood. Maybe it's because everyone else seems to be taking it in stride.

General Katase actually congratulated me, which is very strange. Even Kusakabe and his people were overjoyed. I feel like they're suddenly looking at me differently, and while that makes me happy, I'm also worried I won't be able to fulfill their expectations. And I had a nightmare again. I haven't had one in years.

I really don't want to disappoint Tohdoh-sensei, Lelouch. And I don't want to disappoint you. What if I don't have the strength to do this?

Please write back soon. I miss you so much.

Your friend,

Suzaku

 

Dear Suzaku,

First of all, you could never disappoint me. Not ever. Wipe that thought from your head, right this instant or I will tell Nunnally about it. You don't want her to be mad at you, do you?

Now, if you're blaming yourself for killing those Britannians, don't. You and I both knew it was going to happen. We're at war, and Britannia will not fall just because we want it to.

Those men were soldiers and would have killed you in a heartbeat if you hadn't killed them first. They would have killed the other people with you. Some of them probably didn't consider you human, and would not have spared you a second thought if they had been the ones to win the battle.

You're such a good person, Suzaku. I've wished so many times that we weren't trapped in this war, that we could be together, live regular lives. Even now, I wish that you could come join Nunnally and me at Ashford. The classes may be boring, but since Milly has taken over the Student Council, she's throwing all these events. I think you'd enjoy them very much if you were here.

But we can't have that, not yet, because we're not regular people. And I know that one day, the time will come when I'll be in the position you are in now, that eventually I'll be the one to have to press the trigger. And maybe on that day, I'll have nightmares too. But I will do it anyway, because there is no other solution.

There is a saying in Latin. _Qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum._ May he who desires peace prepare for war.

I think we can both agree on the fact that until Britannia is defeated, a true peace won't be accomplished. No, it goes beyond peace. It is about freedom, about justice, about avenging all those who have fallen to Britannia's cruelty.

Do you remember, when we were ten, and we were walking through fields of corpses together? I do, just like I remember the sight of my mother gunned down on the steps of our house, bleeding out with Nunnally barely alive under her.

That is the kind of world we live in now, Suzaku. I don't ever want Nunnally to be touched by it again, but you and I—we have to be strong. And I believe in you will all my heart. I believe that if anyone has the strength to do this, it is you.

Finally, never think that Tohdoh-sensei would be disappointed in you because you have a conscience. If anything, he would be proud because you understand the weight of the responsibilities that come with being a soldier. I have no doubt that he had a tough time after his first mission too.

I miss you too.

Always your friend,

Lelouch

 

Dear Lelouch,

You're right. I would like to come to your school, to your festivals, to meet your friends. I would like to spend time with you and Nunnally out in the open. I think it would be nice. But your friends would all probably turn me away, because I'm only a Number to them.

I know that outside Narita, people are suffering, that I've been protected far more than I deserve, far more than I should have been. And yes, Lelouch, I remember the invasion. How could I ever forget? I feel like just by having these regrets, I'm betraying those people who died then.

There were so many of them, women, children... So many innocents, just like you and Nunnally.

Yes, I agree, Lelouch. Even if we must harden our own hearts, we have to keep fighting. I won't hesitate or dwell on this any longer, I promise.

One day, you and I will be together again, and I will protect you and I'll make sure Britannia can never touch you. I will stand by you and we'll fix this. There is nothing we can't do together. I believe that.

Give Nunnally a big hug for me. Please don't tell her about my foolishness. I don't want her to be mad. She may yet sic Sayoko on me and those kunais are sharp.

I'll see what I can do about us actually seeing each other soon.

Still missing you,

Suzaku

P.S. Do you really have to quote Latin at me? Way to make me feel inadequate.

 

Dear Suzaku,

Now you know how I feel whenever you give me your ridiculous simulator numbers. Honestly, I always knew you were a fitness nut, but some days, I still have trouble dealing with it.

Seriously, though, don't ever say you aren't deserving of being protected. Of course you are. I told you before, didn't I? You're a hero, and you're such a good person. Do not ever put yourself down.

In a way, I do understand what you mean. I've wondered many times why it was Nunnally who was caught in the crossfire that day, Nunnally who is so kind and sweet and wouldn't hurt a fly. Why couldn't it be me?

I would've happily traded places with her if it meant she could see and walk.

But this is our lot in life, and I have decided that blaming myself for it won't help me any, just like you blaming yourself for decisions you were forced into is unreasonable.

Yes, we will harden our hearts, Suzaku, but no matter what, rest assured, that for me you will always be important.

Let me tell you a secret. I think that in the end, I will always be a selfish creature. If I fight Britannia, it will be for you and Nunnally and my mother, not really the big picture. Maybe that makes me a little hypocritical, given what I've said before, but that is how I feel.

One day, Suzaku, nobody will ever call you a Number. Nobody will dream of ever looking down on Nunnally and me because our mother was a commoner, and she will be avenged. Yes, together we can accomplish this.

I look forward to seeing you too and so does Nunnally. She's also told me that if we want, we can see each other just us.

I'm not sure how I feel about that. It would be easier, and I've always been aware that having Nunnally leave the Academy is much too risky. Even with Sayoko and Tohdoh-sensei's help, it takes far too long for us to be able to see each other properly. What do you think?

Your friend always,

Lelouch

 

Dear Lelouch,

I agree with Nunnally. I can still meet with both of you as we are now, but if it's possible for you to meet at other times with no risk, I think it's a good idea.

I've actually been mapping the mountain, so I know all the spots where I can sneak in and out if I have to. That way, we won't always have to go through Tohdoh-sensei.

I know, it's a little disobedient, but just this once, for your sake, I will break the rules.

Let me know how you want to do this.

Your excited friend,

Suzaku

 

****

2016, a.t.b.

Dear Lelouch,

Today I overheard a conversation that unsettled me. Kirihara-dono was talking with Tohdoh-sensei about me and Kaguya. Now that we're older, he wants to go through with my original betrothal to her.

Suffice to say, I have no desire to marry Kaguya. ~~I have no desire to marry anyone but y~~

I don't want to be ungrateful after all the help Tohdoh-sensei has given us, but at the same time, this talk of marriage makes me very uneasy. I just don't understand why Kirihara-dono would bring it up now of all times.

What do you think I should do?

Please write back quickly. I really need your advice. Or better yet, when can we meet?

Your friend,

Suzaku

 

Suzaku,

I was a little surprised to receive your return letter so quickly, but I now understand your urgency. I think I can see Kirihara-dono's reasoning. It is about politics.

Even after all these years, there is still a fair amount of resentment toward your father. However, you've fixed a lot of that through your own merit. To top it off, House Kururugi remains one of the pillars of the Japanese community, as it has been for centuries, and one of the Six Houses of Kyoto. This marriage to Kaguya may be intended to cement this feeling and encourage a stronger relationship between you and the rest of the members of the JLF. With your mother being a Sumeragi, it is possible that it may even work.

In other words, he's trying to help you, although I have no doubt that he has his own interests in the matter.

We're not children anymore, Suzaku, and with you gaining recognition among the JLF, it's not unlikely that Kirihara-dono would want to rally the Japanese behind you in the future.  

At present, your troops lack a real, coherent strategy. A lot of the smaller rebel cells don't even care about the big picture. They're just lashing out at Britannian citizens. It's difficult to reach out to all of them. The JLF is many things, but approachable isn't one of them.

The leaders of the JLF are all older, traditional figures who don't associate well with the brasher, more impulsive members of the smaller groups. Kirihara-dono himself is aging, and he won't be able to carry the burden of his position forever. None of this is news to you, of course, but the point is that Kirihara-dono knows it as well as we do.  Clearly, he can see that he needs to gather someone under one banner, and that someone can be you.

That, at least, I can agree with. I have absolutely no doubt that you can accomplish anything you set your mind to. But that doesn't necessarily mean you have to marry Kaguya if you dislike the thought so much.

Speak to Tohdoh-sensei. I'm sure a way around this unfortunate situation can be found. You've already become the best knightmare pilot the JLF has. Kaguya's backing would help you politically, but you don't absolutely need it. She's still your cousin, even if she doesn't become your wife.

And do remember that you have me to help you. Right now, the cards may be stacked against us, but our time will come.

Your friend,

Lelouch

P.S. We really have to find a more practical way to communicate. Not that I don't love writing to you, but it takes forever to exchange letters.

P.S.S. How about this weekend? I can take the train to Narita. Sayoko will cover for me.

 

Dear Lelouch,

You were right. That's exactly what Kirihara-dono is going for. Tohdoh-sensei has confirmed it, although he also seems sympathetic to my situation.

I'm not really sure what to do. I'm a soldier, not a strategist. Who would ever follow me or my orders?

I suppose you have a point in that the Japanese need a figure to rally behind, but I'm just not sure I can pull it off. Some days, I really wish I had your confidence.

You know, Lelouch, this constant battle, this constant resistance has made me realize one thing. Every single time we go out, Britannia is one step ahead. The Burais are inferior to the new Britannian machines, and as much as we try to compensate for it, it's just not enough. Even if we do fight, even if presumably, through some sort of miracle, we managed to take back Japan, can we really keep it?

Don't get me wrong, I won't stop. I won't give up. But at the same time, I feel like maybe there should be more we could do.

See, this is what I mean. I just don't have any idea on where we're supposed to go from here, and to be honest, being a figurehead for something that I don't believe in does not appeal. General Kusakabe, for example, often speaks of earning Japan's pride back, and that unsettles me. It's far too similar to what my father used to say, and we already know that such an approach is a bad idea.

Also, I don't want to marry Kaguya.

Anyway, I will do my best to get a better position within the JLF and we'll go from there. You be careful too, Lelouch.

Your friend,

Suzaku

P.S. Tohdoh-sensei said that the signal around Narita is very sketchy. Your brother really hasn't done too much reconstruction in that field around here, and we're struggling even with military-grade communicators. I secretly suspect that half of it is our fault, since we're regularly sabotaging Britannian infrastructure. Anyway, as soon as it's possible, I'm getting us two phones. No, four, just in case we lose one.

P.S.S. I'll be waiting for you at our usual spot, at twelve.

 

Dear Suzaku,

I know you're mad at me for what happened earlier this week, with my Clovisland plan. I'm sorry for not being completely upfront with you about what I was about to do, but I didn't know how you'd react to it.

Honestly, Suzaku, it was something that only occurred to me last week, when I happened to go to Clovisland on an unrelated matter. I'm kicking myself over it because I should have thought of it sooner.

It  was perfectly safe, I swear. I took every possible precaution. I went after hours, when there was only skeleton staff around. The security in the park isn't great, and I had Sayoko with me, just in case.

And it did work. As I expected, the park uses the same supply lines and schedules as Clovis's regular forces. Using the data I found, I can extrapolate and give the JLF a little more information on where to strike in the future.

Please write back soon. I really am sorry about keeping things from you.

Always your friend,

Lelouch

 

Suzaku,

Please stop ignoring my letters! What do you want me to say or do to make this better?

I'm trying my best to fulfill our dream, to make Japan free and obliterate Britannia, for you and Nunnally! I'm trying to make sure we keep our vow. I won't keep you out of things again, I promise.

Just please, Suzaku, don't ignore me any longer.

I miss you.

Lelouch

 

Dear Lelouch,

We need to talk about this in person. Meet me at our spot, the day after tomorrow, at noon.

Suzaku

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you don't understand the bit at the end with Clovisland, do let me know. It will be expanded on in the next chapter, where we will be returning to regular narration. Also, in case you haven't figured it out already (which I doubt), Lelouch does not see the crossed out text.


	7. Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, another update! Don't you love me for being so fast? I am putting effort into this because this is a special week and I want to get to a certain special chapter before Suzu's birthday on the 10th! Wish me luck!  
> In the meantime, I forgot to mention this last chapter, but my thanks to the anon who reminded me of the knightmare simulator Lelouch got off the black market. I'd forgotten. Shame on me.  
> This chapter will also contain some elements from the picture dramas. If you're curious, you can find them all on YT.  
> As always, comments and kudos are love!

Suzaku leaned against the tree, crossing his arms over his chest as he remained hidden underneath the foliage. It took everything in his power to not do something dumb like tap his foot against the ground or fidget. Somehow, despite all the training he had, waiting for Lelouch at their spot never got any easier.

They had decided on meeting here, at the very bottom of the mountain, because it was a spot both Lelouch and Suzaku could get to with a fair amount of ease. It wasn't always comfortable, but so far, it had served them well.

Today, he wished he could have met Lelouch directly at the station. After the terrible fight he'd had with his friend, he was very anxious. Fortunately, he hadn't been forced to go through classes, because if his tutors had tried to get him to learn about the historical accomplishments of the emperors of Japan, he'd have probably stabbed someone in the face.

He knew that up to a point, this situation was his own fault. He had been unreasonable, ignoring Lelouch's letters like that. Most likely, Lelouch had taken every possible precaution, just like he had said. Lelouch was like that, always taking into account every contingency, always ten steps ahead. He was also much too aware of Nunnally's vulnerability to take too many chances.

Still, the thought of Clovis tracking Lelouch down and forcing him to return to Britannia made Suzaku break out in cold sweat. Technically, what Lelouch was doing was high treason. He could get himself killed for helping them. Some days, Suzaku just wanted to tell Lelouch to stay behind the walls of Ashford where he was safe and leave the resistance up to Suzaku and the JLF. But that would never work and even making the suggestion would be insulting to Lelouch and his resolve.

He knew he could get overprotective of his friend, but he just couldn't help himself. He still had moments when he remembered the little boy Lelouch had been, so angry and defiant, refusing the food given to him at the shrine and insisting to do everything for himself and his sister, no matter how hard it had been. He remembered their first fight, how Lelouch had lunged at him just because Suzaku had dared to break the beautiful lie he had been spinning for Nunnally to protect her from the humiliating truth of where they really had been forced to stay. He remembered Lelouch curled up into a ball while Japanese children kicked him, and Lelouch's arms around him, so tight and warm, the night Suzaku had killed his father. Then all the moments they had stolen together over the years, all of their letters, every single time Lelouch had been there for him.

If he lost that, if Lelouch was ever gone... Suzaku did not know what he would do.

Because of that, it hurt that Lelouch had not trusted him, not trusted Suzaku's own affection and resolve.

Lelouch arrived shortly before noon, a little earlier than their established time.  "Hi," he said in a quiet voice. "Have you been waiting for me long?"

For a few seconds, Suzaku allowed himself to just look at his best friend. Lelouch was so unfairly beautiful. He always had been, even as a child, although Suzaku wasn't sure when he had actually realized it the first time. It had only become worse in recent years, since he'd started having wet dreams about his friend.

The first few times, he'd had a bit of a panic attack about it, since growing up, he had been taught that men were only supposed to love women and homosexual relations were shameful. Then, he'd heard Tohdoh-sensei berate someone for making a derogatory comment about gay men. That had made him really happy. He still hadn't been brave enough to mention the topic to Tohdoh-sensei, but he had concluded that loving Lelouch this way wasn't so bad.

The only people who seemed to care about that sort of thing one way or another were idiots anyway and would have hated Lelouch on principle, just because he was Britannian.

Still, since Lelouch never seemed to show any romantic interest in him, Suzaku had pretty much decided to keep his feelings to himself. But he now wondered if all that had been a mistake, if maybe Lelouch had noticed in some way and that was why he had done this, hidden the truth from Suzaku.

"Not that long. Besides, you know that doesn't matter that much." He would have waited longer. He would have waited as long as it took.

Lelouch walked to his side and sat down on a nearby rock. He was a little flushed from making the trek, and it reminded Suzaku of different times, when Lelouch tired much easier than he did now. In that moment, Suzaku wanted to touch Lelouch so much it hurt.

"You're still angry with me," Lelouch said.

"Of course I'm angry, Lelouch," Suzaku said between gritted teeth. "The two of us made a promise, that we'd fix things together. Together! Not randomly going off doing our own thing without even telling each other. How am I supposed to help you if I don't know what's going on?"

Lelouch looked away from him. "I... I know. I never intended to... to keep you out of the loop. It just seemed like a better idea to tell you later, since I was worried that you'd risk yourself by wanting to come with me and..."

"Oh, so it's not risky for you, but it's risky for me?" Suzaku snapped at Lelouch, cutting him off. "How does that work, exactly?"

"Suzaku, I can move around easily in the settlement, you know that. In civilian clothes, I'm just your regular Britannian teenager. You'd draw the eye."

"Fuck that, Lelouch," Suzaku said, frustrated. "I know how to stay inconspicuous. With a cap and pair of sunglasses on, I practically look Britannian to anyone who doesn't look too closely. And even if that wasn't true, another Number wiping down toilets and getting kicked around would've gone unnoticed."

Lelouch shot him a look filled with undisguised horror. "Suzaku, no. I don't want you to ever force yourself to go through that kind of humiliation."

"It doesn't matter to me," Suzaku insisted. "Anything is better than knowing you're at risk. Besides... I'm sure you'd have done it for me."

Lelouch didn't argue against the point. Of course he would have. He was used to withstanding humiliation. He had done it plenty as a child, when he'd been a political hostage of Suzaku's own family.

"Fair enough, Suzaku," Lelouch finally admitted. "You're not wrong there."

"Besides," Suzaku added sulkily, "you said you took Sayoko. Why not take me?"

"I suppose..." Lelouch pursed his lips. "It was a bit of a long shot, Suzaku. I didn't want you coming to the settlement, all the way from Narita, just because I thought that maybe we could find something in the systems at Clovisland."

"I would've come, Lelouch!" Suzaku insisted. "Why is that so hard to understand? Together, remember?"

"I remember!" Lelouch suddenly shot to his feet, his eyes bright with amethyst fire. "And that's exactly why I needed to do this. Don't you see, Suzaku? Whether we like to admit it or not, I'm a Britannian prince and you're the last remaining heir of one of the Six Houses of Kyoto. You've been raised around people who hate me just for existing. Up to a point, they probably still blame me and Nunnally for the invasion."

"Lelouch, that was hardly your fault. Your father came at Japan because of our sakuradite, not to protect or avenge you."

"I know that and you know that. But that doesn't mean some people won't still see things differently. For that reason, I need to... I need to become an asset. It's the only way, Suzaku. I made a vow, to use what strength I have to protect you and Nunnally, to protect what we have. How could I do anything less?"

By the time Lelouch had finished his rant, he was breathing hard and leaning into Suzaku's space, clutching Suzaku's shoulders. Suzaku's anger deflated. He had always known he couldn't stay mad at Lelouch forever and after hearing Lelouch's reasons, pressing the matter further would just be petty.

He leaned in closer and wrapped his arms around his friend in a tight hug. "Just promise me you won't keep things like this from me, okay? Together doesn't mean much if we're apart."

"Technically, I've already promised." Suzaku gripped Lelouch a little tighter, and Lelouch hastily added, "Okay, fine. I promise I won't do it again. I give you my word."

Suzaku nodded, satisfied. He released Lelouch from his embrace, although he actually wanted to hold on a little longer. As if of common accord, they both sat down on Lelouch's rock and succumbed to silence, satisfied to just enjoy the simple peace in the forest.

Suzaku was the one to break it, since he'd never done well with inactivity. "How did you get such a crazy idea anyway? You said you went to Clovisland on an unrelated matter."

Lelouch shrugged. "Oh, Shirley asked me to go with her. I had an epiphany when I was there and decided to come back after, once there were no people around."

Suzaku turned to stare at his friend in shock. "I'm sorry, what?"

"I told you about it in the letter, remember? I went after hours, when there was only skeleton staff manning the area. Sayoko kept an eye out for me while I hacked the cameras and sneaked in to look at the files."

Suzaku remembered that. The details of Lelouch's little Clovisland heist weren't what concerned him now. "Never mind that. Since when are you dating Shirley?"

"I'm not," Lelouch said, arching a perfect, dark brow at him. "We just went out as friends. What's all this all of a sudden, Suzaku? Why do you have a problem with Shirley? You never cared before."

It was true. Suzaku hadn't, largely because Shirley Fennette hadn't been mentioned a lot in Lelouch's letters. Suzaku did recall that she was a member of the Student Council with Lelouch and possibly part of the swim club, but Lelouch hadn't said too much about her beyond that. When he did mention his Ashford friends, it was mostly Milly Ashford he spoke about in detail, since she apparently kept siccing the school on Lelouch for events.

The time Lelouch had mentioned being forced to crossdress for a festival, Suzaku had been so distracted by the mental images he had almost lost a sparring match to Tohdoh-sensei.

But Milly had obviously not been a danger, since for the most part, Lelouch seemed to see her as an annoying older sister. Shirley was a new, unknown factor.

"Suzaku? What's wrong? This isn't a big deal. Shirley doesn't know about Nunnally and me being vi Britannias, and even if she had, I doubt she'd say anything."

Was Lelouch considering bringing Shirley Fennette in on their secret now?

Suzaku shot to his feet and glared at his friend. "So she's your girlfriend then? You trust her more than you trust me? First Sayoko, now Shirley?"

"No, Suzaku, never!" Lelouch got up as well and gave Suzaku a hurt look. "How can you say that? Why are you acting so strangely? You know there's no one I trust more than I do you!"

On some level, Suzaku knew that. The secrets they shared hadn't even been revealed to Nunnally, who was so precious to both of them.

But that just made the imminent danger to their friendship seem even more powerful. Lelouch himself had said Suzaku wasn't as available as he would have liked. What if he turned to someone else while Suzaku was stuck here, in Narita?

Suzaku clenched and unclenched his fists. He couldn't lash out at Lelouch for his own insecurities. He needed to... He needed to...

He didn't know what to do.

"Suzaku?" a soft voice snapped him out of his thoughts. "I really am sorry. I..."

The gentle regret in Lelouch's tone finally snapped through Suzaku's last threads of control. He grabbed the lapel of Lelouch's jacket and pulled him close for a kiss.

For a few seconds, all Suzaku could think about was how right Lelouch felt against him, in his arms. He'd always known this of course, which was why he made it his business to hug Lelouch whenever he got the chance. But this was different. Lelouch's hair felt like silk between his fingers and his lips were so soft. He smelled so good. It was like a dream come true.

Then, those precious seconds passed, and the illusion shattered as he took in something he shouldn't have missed from the very beginning.

Lelouch wasn't kissing him back.

Suzaku tore their mouths apart, horrified at what he had done. He'd sworn to himself that he would never push his feelings onto Lelouch and here he was, doing exactly that. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't... I shouldn't have done that."

Lelouch blinked at him, looking dazed and ruffled. "Uh. No. I mean... Wait. Give me... Give me a moment."

Suzaku waited, his heart hammering in his chest. What now? Maybe he could tell Lelouch he had just gotten carried away? It was technically true. Surely his friend wouldn't hold it against him. Even if Suzaku's unrequited feelings made things a little awkward, they could forget about it eventually and go back to normal, right?

"Lelouch, I—" he began.

"I think I was supposed to kiss you back, wasn't I?" Lelouch cut him off.

"Lelouch, it doesn't work that way..." Suzaku said, pained. The last thing he wanted was for Lelouch to force himself to kiss him out of some strange conclusion of what he was supposed to do.

"No, I'm pretty sure it does," Lelouch insisted, a stubborn expression on his face. "Kiss me again. I'll do better the second time."

"You don't have to—"

"I want to. Kiss me again."

Maybe Suzaku should have hesitated, but he knew Lelouch, and understood that at times like these, Lelouch could not be thwarted. "All right, but if you don't like it, you tell me, I stop and we'll forget all about this."

Lelouch nodded, visibly impatient, and Suzaku forced himself to comply with his friend's request. This time, when he leaned in, he did so more slowly. Lelouch closed his eyes and leaned in toward him. Somewhat reassured, Suzaku crossed the rest of the distance between them.

The second kiss was very different from the first. Suzaku was much more hesitant, but Lelouch made up for it, moving his lips gently against Suzaku's.

They didn't actually open their mouths, but that didn't count. The more they held onto it, the more relaxed Suzaku felt, not just because he was enjoying it, but because Lelouch was so obviously in the same situation.

When they broke apart, they were both breathing hard, and Lelouch looked like he'd run a marathon. "I liked that," he murmured. "It was nice."

Nice was one way of putting it. Suzaku was rock hard, and they'd only shared a few kisses. So was Lelouch, for that matter. They were so close together now that it was impossible not to feel Lelouch's erection. Clearly, he had been wrong to doubt Lelouch's feelings for him.

"Yes," he whispered. Just because he could, he nipped on Lelouch's nose. "It was."

Lelouch trembled slightly in his arms. "I feel like you've been keeping things from me too," he whispered huskily. "And maybe we should talk about it later."

"Later," Suzaku repeated. "Does that mean we  can do more kissing now?" And maybe more. Now that he knew Lelouch felt the same, he really wanted to make up for lost time and he would not object to some extra heavy petting.

Lelouch shot him a small, wicked grin. "That's exactly what I had in mind."

Suzaku didn't have to be told twice. And as he and Lelouch tumbled together in the grass, Suzaku forgot all about Britannia and Japan. He and Lelouch were no longer heirs of enemy families, just two boys who loved each other. For the first time in ages, Suzaku felt happy and free, and in his heart, he knew he would do anything to protect this feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LONG AN: Why does Suzu make that comment about looking "Britannian"? Because he sort of does.  
> I am no expert at this, but upon doing some reading, I learned that genetically, for Suzaku to be able to have green eyes, he'd need to have at least 2 ancestors with that gene (European). That doesn't mean he doesn't look Japanese, just that there is a mix of European blood from the beginning.  
> Now, the general difference between Japanese and Europeans is not in the skin complexion (which varies wildly), but in the shape of the skull. This is visible in many areas, around the eyes and cheekbones, the general length of their faces etc. But this is not the case for every single individual. Sometimes, even the skull shape of a Japanese is not very different from what you'd see in a European person.  
> Take our case. Anime drawings are in no way reliable to judge one's race, but put Suzaku's face next to Lelouch's, and the only difference you'll see is the fact that Suzaku's cheekbones appear to be more preeminent. Then put his face next to Tohdoh's. Not that much of a similarity, huh? He doesn't much look like his father either. Maybe he takes after his mysterious mother (who was presumably a Sumeragi).  
> To briefly go back to Suzu's skin color – it does seem that a lot of Britannian nobles have a very pale complexion, as evidenced by Lulu and most of his family, whereas Suzu is a little more tan. But there are also people like Rivalz, Jeremiah and Bismarck, and of course, Viletta and Dorothea. So it doesn't seem like a big deal. Maybe he just gets a little more sun.  
> Then there is Suzaku's hair. The shade of Suzaku's hair is actually very unusual for Japanese. That is pretty meaningless in Code Geass, where people generally have blue/purple/green hair, but for the purpose of this fic, I am taking it seriously.  
> And finally, the huge ass shades Suzu occasionally wears in the series. Originally, I thought it was just because his face was actually well-known, but upon consideration, the size of the shades may actually be used also to hide his more Asian features—which in my opinion, must be the shape of his eyes (not really shown in the anime) and his cheekbones.


	8. The Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back with an update! As promised, this one showcases Tohdoh & Suzaku a little more :D Enjoy, kudos and comment!

Tohdoh sat on the zaisu in Suzaku's room, absently contemplating his current situation. Normally, he would not have entered the boy's quarters while Suzaku was absent, but he had originally intended to talk to him about a topic Suzaku had brought up in the past. He'd found Suzaku gone, and he a feeling he knew exactly why that was.

Over the course of the past few days, Suzaku had been particularly restless and angry. The cause was, naturally, Lelouch vi Britannia, who had for some reason beyond Tohdoh's power of comprehension decided to keep Suzaku out of his plan to use Clovisland as a way to spy on his brother's movements.

It was a great idea, one Tohdoh would have expected of Zero, once upon a time. He himself doubted he could have made it work, since he was realistic enough to realize he didn't have the intellect to see the big picture the way Lelouch did. And he actually did feel tentatively optimistic that this would help them in the long run.

Unfortunately, Suzaku had not reacted well to the news of what Lelouch had done. Tohdoh supposed that some things never changed and Lelouch would always have his secrets. But that left him more worried than ever about the boy he had raised and had come to love as his own.

This was what had brought him to Suzaku's room tonight. He had been postponing this conversation for years, even if he had known it was coming. How could he not? The Suzaku in their original future had confessed to having had feelings for Lelouch almost immediately after their reunion, and he had presumably spent only one summer with the young Britannian prince.

The Suzaku Tohdoh had raised was even closer to Lelouch. It stood to reason that his feelings would turn romantic once again. The problem lay in the fact that Tohdoh did not know if the prince was interested in Suzaku that way. What if this secrecy indicated an underlining problem that would manifest in them not being able to be together romantically?

The Suzaku who had been Zero had seemed to think Lelouch had been interested, but he could have been wrong, since by his own admission, the desire had never manifested in any way.  The last thing Tohdoh wanted was to see Suzaku heartbroken.

Damn it all to hell. It was hard enough raising a child with obvious homosexual leanings in an environment that was full of traditional people. Fortunately, these days, even men like that fool Kusakabe were too concerned about Britannia to focus on the sexual orientation of their fellows, so Tohdoh had been kept from having to intervene too many times, but that didn't mean it hadn't been a challenge. The idea that the prince himself would be a problem hadn't occurred to him.

He had hoped to somehow help fix the situation through what he had brought tonight, but it might be too late if Lelouch didn't turn out to be as open to Suzaku's affections as Tohdoh had deemed him to be.

His train of thoughts was derailed when all of a sudden, the door opened, and Suzaku walked into the room. Tohdoh had not heard the boy approach, but that wasn't uncommon. Suzaku's gait tended to be very quiet, which was part of the reason why he'd been so good at reconnaissance missions before he'd taken up the position of a knightmare pilot.

Today, Suzaku was nowhere near as composed as during his missions. Tohdoh took one look at Suzaku's flushed face and the state of his clothes and knew he had been foolish to worry. It looked like the other Suzaku had been right about Lelouch.

In turn, Suzaku froze when he saw Tohdoh there. "Tohdoh-sensei... Err... What are you doing here?"

"Waiting for you, obviously. And how is the prince? I take it the two of you have made amends."

Suzaku's cheeks went even redder. "Um, yes. We've... talked things through."

If talking had been the only thing going on, Tohdoh would swallow his katana. "Suzaku-kun, sit."

Suzaku gulped, but obediently sat down. Tohdoh braced himself for what would undoubtedly be a difficult conversation.

"Now, I've probably delayed this a little too long, but there comes a time in a young man's life when he will begin to feel certain urges."

Suzaku's eyes went comically wide. Tohdoh went on, ignoring his student's shock. Suzaku probably already knew at least some of the things Tohdoh was about to say, but they needed to be reiterated regardless.

"Sometimes, this attraction is toward girls. Other times, it is toward boys. Either option, or the combination of the two, is perfectly all right."

Suzaku nodded, although he was beginning to look very dazed. Tohdoh was fondly reminded of an earlier time in Suzaku's life, when he had been trying to teach Suzaku martial arts and Suzaku had constantly zoned out, thinking of their new Britannian guest.

"Nevertheless," he continued, "while pursuing these urges, you must be careful with your health and that of your partner.

"The first issue that always needs to be considered is protection. Condoms are the most commonly used method these days and the easiest accessible product for us. It helps protect you any sort of sexually transmitted diseases, and if your partner is female, it helps prevent pregnancy. We do not leave in times when having a baby would be a particularly good idea.

"Now, if your partner is male and you are monogamous," which was obviously the case, because he very much doubted either of the boys had been interested in anyone but each other, "you can certainly forego that protection, but not until you are perfectly certain you are safe."

Suzaku was so tense now he looked like he was seconds away from shooting to his feet and fleeing. But Tohdoh was not done yet.

"Additionally, in a homosexual relationship, it would probably be a good idea to... procure lubricant beforehand. Be careful and thorough while preparing each other. Preventing injury in anal sex is important, as anal tears can be very— "

At that, Suzaku finally cracked. "Tohdoh-sensei! It's not like that! I mean... Okay, it is like that, but Lelouch and I haven't actually gotten that far yet."

"That's good," Tohdoh said, ignoring the somewhat rude interruption. He could hardly blame Suzaku for his embarrassment. "The two of you are still young. You don't need to rush into things you aren't ready for. Take your time to know each other as romantic partners before you make any decision."

Suzaku made a small sound that sounded like an aborted whimper. Then, he took a deep breath and finally answer, "Yes, Tohdoh-sensei."

"Good. Now, there are of course a few additional factors to consider. The first is proper behavior. While I understand that you are young and have a passionate nature, it's not appropriate to run around rolling through the grass with your paramour. Remember that you are a member of the most noble families of Japan. We must honor and protect that legacy through our behavior.

"And perhaps even more importantly, we need to consider the risks attached to it. We do live in a Britannian-occupied area. Normally, I have no doubt that you can handle yourself, which is why I've looked the other way during past times you've left the mountain without permission. However, taking into account the circumstances, I can safely say that the prince's... charms may distract you and lead you to lose track of your environment. That is not acceptable."

As awkward as it was for Tohdoh to refer to Lelouch that way, it did get the message through. "Yes, Tohdoh-sensei," Suzaku said, well and truly chastised. "It won't happen again."

"I'm sure it won't." Tohdoh squeezed Suzaku's shoulder. "Don't look so down, Suzaku-kun. I won't punish you for your actions today. Like I said, I do understand. But you must remember to act wisely and appropriately in the future, for your sake and that of Lelouch-kun. If you are found, it could be very dangerous, for both of you."

Of course, what Tohdoh didn't say was that part of the reason why he wasn't harsher on Suzaku was because he had trouble coming up with ideas to discipline the boy. Suzaku tended to be very obedient, but all that went out the window when Lelouch was involved. This was problematic, because Tohdoh did not have the heart to force them apart, even for a short amount of time, not when he still remembered Suzaku bleeding out in his arms with the prince's name on his lips, not when he still carried the memory of the older and broken Suzaku in his memory and his heart. Physical discipline would have been an option for anybody else, but Suzaku's athleticism made push-ups or doing laps useless, and Tohdoh was not about to hit the boy for following his heart—or for any other reason except training. The one other thing that could discomfit Suzaku was cutting him off from his position as a knightmare pilot, but that would be detrimental for him in the long run and would damage the JLF's operations too.

For the moment, it was better to point out unwise behavior could be dangerous to Lelouch. If nothing else, Suzaku could always be relied on to want to protect the Britannian prince.

Maybe he was manipulating the boy a little bit, but it was for his own good and that of his new... boyfriend. Or whatever the prince was. Tohdoh was getting a headache just thinking about it.

This parenting thing was hard.

Fortunately, his approach was rewarded when Suzaku nodded, looking more determined than ever. "I won't fail you, Tohdoh-sensei." After a few seconds of pause, the boy added, "You really don't mind? My relationship with Lelouch, I mean?"

Suzaku's voice was steady, but there was a dose of uncertainty there. Tohdoh could not let that go unaddressed. He had never been a person to talk too much about emotions, but with Suzaku, he tried, and he'd try again, this time too, because it was important.

"No, I do not mind. You've become an excellent young man, Suzaku-kun. Many times, I have found myself wishing that you had come from me, not Genbu." Suzaku's breath caught, which just encouraged Tohdoh to finish his train of thought. "But even if you did not, I still see you as my own, and first and foremost, I want you to be happy. The prince makes you happy, does he not?"

"Yes," Suzaku croaked out, his eyes now filled with tears. "Very much so."

"Well, then that's all I need to know." Tohdoh smiled slightly. "To tell you the truth, Suzaku-kun, I always suspected something might happen between the two of you. I am truly happy to see things worked out for you and Lelouch-kun."

Happier than Suzaku would ever know, and for reasons Tohdoh would always keep to himself.

"And on that note, I brought you something," he said. He pulled out the package from his pocket and offered it to Suzaku. "Here. You might need this."

Suzaku took the package and hastily undid the wrapping. Inside, he found two phones.

"You mentioned having some trouble with communicating with Lelouch-kun only through letters. This may help. The signal isn't foolproof, of course, but it uses the same technology we do for long-distance communication, so you should be able to reach Lelouch-kun just fine on a regular basis."

A tear flowed down Suzaku's cheek. "Thank you," Suzaku said, his voice shaking. When he looked up at Tohdoh, a new determined light shone in his eyes. "Thank you... Father."

It was Tohdoh's turn to freeze. Even if he had told Suzaku that he considered him his son—which was true—he had not expected the boy to respond this way.

In a way, it made sense. Genbu had been many things, but a good parent was not one of them. Meanwhile, in the years since the invasion, Tohdoh had done his utmost to be there for Suzaku, to compensate for the harm he'd done to the other version of the child through his inaction. He himself had not expected their bond to become so strong, but it had.

But the reasons truly mattered very little. For once, Tohdoh set aside his regularly composed demeanor and allowed himself one moment of weakness.

"It was truly my pleasure, my son," he said, hugging Suzaku.

As he held Suzaku in his arms, Tohdoh knew that this alone had been worth coming back in time. He wasn't sure what would happen. Things were changing every day, and his influence in them was limited. Even with the information he had from their previous future, he had not been able to affect the status quo of Japan as much as he'd have liked. Not to mention the fact that so much depended on Lelouch's own actions, actions which had been a mystery to him even in the original timeline and which he  had no way of controlling now.

Either way, no matter what happened, Tohdoh was convinced of one thing. Even if he failed at everything else, he would protect this boy whom he had failed so badly the first time.

Once, he had been a soldier first and foremost. Now, he was a father, and he would never forget that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A zaisu is a Japanese type of chair without legs. And yes, I went all out with the feels here. Sue me :P I wanted to cram in more Dad!Tohdoh before the shit hits the proverbial fan :)


	9. The Day A Legend Was Born

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy birthday, Suzaku, our favorite Knight of Zero! In special celebration, I managed to complete the mammoth chapter I was working on! Hope you enjoy it and you will like the direction I am taking this story starting now.  
> Remember, comments are birthday kisses for Suzu!

August 15, 2017 a.t.b.

Suzaku clutched Lelouch's hips tighter as he thrust into the warm, welcoming haven of his boyfriend's body. Beneath him, Lelouch threw his head back, exposing the white column of his neck. There were already slight bruises forming on the pale skin, and a surge of possessive satisfaction coursed through Suzaku at the sight.

The noises Lelouch made whenever Suzaku hit his prostate were perhaps even more gratifying. "Suzaku...." Lelouch moaned. "Ah! Ah!"

There was something so viscerally beautiful about Lelouch during sex. Lelouch was so put together the rest of the time, every inch of him so perfectly in place that it was difficult to understand how no one had realized he was a prince. He did tend to let his guard down around Suzaku and Nunnally, and possibly, to a lesser extent, his friends from Ashford. But it was only in moments like these that Lelouch's true fire came out, and this Lelouch belonged to Suzaku alone.

The mere thought was almost enough to make Suzaku come, but he managed to hold back. He buried his face in Lelouch's hair and reached around their entwined bodies to grip Lelouch's cock.

Two strokes of his hand and it was all over. With another cry, Lelouch came, his ass muscles clenching around Suzaku's dick as he fell over the edge. Suzaku's vision blurred with pleasure and he promptly followed Lelouch, pumping his boyfriend full of hot cum.

They collapsed together on the bed, panting and sticky, covered in sweat and semen. Suzaku experienced a twinge of regret when his spent dick slid out of Lelouch, but it faded when Lelouch curled against him and pressed their mouths together.

Lelouch tasted like him due to the fact that he'd given Suzaku a blowjob earlier, but Suzaku didn't mind. If anything, he got such a kick out of it, to the point that his cock gave an interested twitch.

"Ugh," Lelouch said against his lips, having obviously noticed his reaction, "you're insatiable, you know that?"

Suzaku pecked his temple, grinning. "How can I not be, when I have you in my bed?"

Lelouch rolled his eyes. "I still can't believe you can deliver such corny lines with a straight face."

"What can I say? It's a talent."

It was also something he did on a regular basis, half because he wanted to share his feelings with Lelouch and half because couldn't talk to a lot of people about said feelings on a regular basis. Among the JLF, Suzaku's enduring friendship—and more recently, his romantic relationship—with Lelouch was not common knowledge. The only ones who knew about it were Tohdoh-sensei and Kirihara, and they had kept the secret, just like they kept the one of Suzaku having murdered Genbu Kururugi. And while Tohdoh-sensei had been very accepting of their relationship, there was only so much Suzaku was comfortable with sharing with the man he now saw as a father.

Sometimes, Suzaku wondered at how much things had changed. Once, Suzaku had had a lot of trouble dealing with the memory of what he had done as a child, with the blood staining his hands. Now, he regretted having been forced to kill his birth father, but he didn't actually regret doing it. He knew if he hadn't done it, Japan would have been worse off. Perhaps more importantly, Lelouch and Nunnally would have suffered the consequences. Genbu might have only promised to kill Nunnally, but Lelouch would have undoubtedly tried to avenge his sister had it happened, and the consequences could have only been lethal. Like Tohdoh-sensei had once told him, sacrifices had to be made to protect what mattered most, and there was nothing Suzaku was not willing to sacrifice for Lelouch.

He was snapped out of his thoughts when Lelouch rolled on top of him, his pointy chin digging into Suzaku's chest. "What are you thinking about? You're a million miles away."

"I'm right here," Suzaku replied. When Lelouch arched a brow at him, Suzaku insisted, "No, really. I was just thinking about us. You and me."

"As flattered as I am, I'd much rather you focus on my presence than on your thoughts and opinions regarding it."

Suzaku couldn't help it. He laughed. Lelouch could occasionally sound so snooty, but half the time, especially when the two of them were together, it was in jest. "Shame on me. How dare I neglect you so?"

"How indeed. Nunnally would be very disappointed in you."

Suzaku smiled fondly at the thought of Lelouch's sister. She was still very close to his heart and one of the biggest supporters of their relationship. He wished he could see her more often, but unlike Lelouch, she didn't have the luxury of going wherever she pleased.

"How is Nunnally?" he asked. "She sounded a little sad when we last spoke on the phone."

"You know why that is. It's been seven years since the invasion. All these parades and historical documentaries... Clovis is being more obnoxious than ever, and she hates it almost as much as I do. And being at school doesn't help." Lelouch sighed. "I suppose it could be worse. Milly tries to keep it joyful at least, although her ideas for future festivals are a little alarming. Did I tell you about her decision to make a giant pizza?"

"A giant pizza? Really?"

Suzaku laughed as Lelouch went into more detail on what his friend was planning. Apparently, one of Milly's most recent ideas involved Lelouch having to use the knightmare at the academy to make the batter for a huge pizza.

"It's a huge, useless expense, but I suppose I can hardly complain. So far, Pres's ideas do make everyone happy, and that's always something to be appreciated."

"I wish I could say we have that kind of distraction back at the JLF," Suzaku admitted.

This time of the year always brought back tension and the poison and hatred everybody spewed against Britannians reached dreadful proportions. Some days, it made Suzaku wish he could leave it all behind and run away with Lelouch.

Unfortunately, he could not do this. Worse, their time for the day was running out. Lelouch stole a look at the clock and cursed. "Crap. I have to go back to the school, and I think I missed the train."

Suzaku perfectly understood Lelouch's agitation. Since the beginning of their relationship, things between them had massively improved. Suzaku had taken Tohdoh-sensei's advice and rented a small apartment in the town next to Narita, where he could meet with Lelouch in private. But while it was safe and comfortable, it still wasn't a place they could stay long. He had to get back to the JLF and Lelouch did have classes to attend and his sister to worry about. There was only so much Sayoko would be able to cover for him.

Considering their options, Suzaku finally offered, "Don't worry about it. I'll drive you. It'll be faster than taking the train anyway."

"Won't you get in trouble with Tohdoh-sensei for it?"

Suzaku hummed thoughtfully. That was a huge possibility. Tohdoh-sensei tended to let him see Lelouch whenever he wanted as long as they stayed in Narita, but going to Tokyo to see Nunnally was a bit more problematic, and he was never to leave Narita without informing Tohdoh-sensei and making appropriate arrangements.

Suzaku appreciated the trust Tohdoh-sensei placed in him, so he had obeyed the rules, but just this one time, he figured it wouldn't be a big deal. He had been to the Tokyo settlement plenty of times, and he had fake documentation that identified him as an Honorary. It would be safe enough.

"Tohdoh-sensei doesn't need to know. He's not in right now anyway. He left for a reconnaissance mission yesterday."

Fortunately, Lelouch didn't question Suzaku. "All right, all right," he said as he got out of bed. "But I hope you know that I will get you if you try anything on that death machine of yours."

Suzaku laughed. It never ceased to amuse him that Lelouch could very easily pilot a knightmare and yet had a strange dislike for Suzaku's bike. Never mind that it came in handy and the whole reason why Suzaku had gotten it to begin with was because it made his rare visits to Tokyo much easier.

"You'll be okay, Your Highness. Your knight is with you."

The words were both an inside joke, and an entirely serious promise. While originally, Lelouch had been irritated by the notion of Suzaku referring to him using his title, he had warmed up to it because he understood its meaning. He might not have been so happy about it had he known that once upon a time, Suzaku had genuinely hoped for this to happen in a literal sense. As a child, he had briefly considered becoming an Honorary Britannian so that he could follow Lelouch, be with him again and maybe one day, become his official knight. The concept had anchored him in those horrible days after he had killed Genbu. Tohdoh-sensei's assistance had fortunately removed the necessity of that horrible idea. Suzaku couldn't imagine how it would have turned out.

Just the same, even after all these years, the feeling behind the idea remained, and after they had started dating, it had become something Suzaku used teasingly and affectionately. Even Lelouch had fallen into it. Today was no different. "Yes, yes, my knight," he replied.

They took a quick shower and got dressed, with Suzaku being careful to hide his face behind large glasses. As expected, when they left the apartment, the inhabitants of the town barely spared them a glance.

His bike was behind the apartment building, where Suzaku always parked it. Suzaku straddled it, put on a helmet and passed Lelouch his. Lelouch grumbled something under his breath, but complied with the wordless instructions. He then hopped onto the bike and wrapped his arms around Suzaku's torso.

Suzaku started the bike and took off at full-throttle. Behind him, Lelouch cursed, his hold on Suzaku tightening.

It was an incredible rush. The speed, the feel of the wind against his face, Lelouch's warmth and his breath—everything gave Suzaku a high. No matter how much he enjoyed piloting a knightmare, he couldn't get this in a mech, where metal encased him from all sides. He suspected Lelouch enjoyed it too, no matter how much he claimed differently.

Due to the speed Suzaku was driving with, they got to the settlement within less than two hours. Ashford Academy was actually located on the outskirts of the concession area, so Suzaku didn't have to pass through any of the security checks that littered the main part of the settlement.

He would not be able to leave Lelouch right in front of the school either, but this was still faster than any of Lelouch's previous options.

He and Lelouch were on the freeway, maybe ten minutes away from their destination, when a massive truck came out of nowhere. Suzaku veered sharply to the right, trying to let the car pass, but his maneuver didn't help. The truck had been going far faster than a car that size should have. The driver tried to change directions and lost control of the vehicle. It ended up crashing in the abandoned construction site beneath them.

Suzaku pressed the breaks and stopped the bike. Lelouch jumped off first and went to check over what had happened while Suzaku made sure the bike was in one piece.

"What the hell?" Suzaku heard his boyfriend say. "Hey, Suzaku, come check this out. I swear I saw a strange light down there."

"A light?" Suzaku approached and looked out, following Lelouch's line of sight. He couldn't see anything out of the ordinary. Not that it mattered, because both he and Lelouch realized there were other, more important things to worry about.

Everybody was just staring and taking photos, but doing nothing to help whoever was in the truck. Lelouch twitched in obvious irritation. "Come on. We should go help them."

Suzaku nodded. Even if he technically wasn't supposed to be here, they had to try to help the people who had been caught in the accident. He'd sneak away later if he had to, but for the moment, they had some lives to save.

Snatching his keys from the bike, Suzaku rushed toward the site of the crash, with Lelouch right behind him.

The front of the truck was completely blocked off by heavy metal beams that had fallen on top of the driver's cabin. Suzaku tried to move them, but predictably, he was unsuccessful.

When Lelouch arrived, he found an alternate solution. "Look, Suzaku, there's a ladder."

Lelouch went up first and Suzaku quickly climbed after him. Maybe they could make their way into the truck this way and reach the people inside.

"Can you hear me?" Lelouch called out. "Are you okay?"

There was no real reply to Lelouch's inquiry, but something did happen, something very odd. By Suzaku's side, Lelouch froze. "Lelouch?" Suzaku asked. "Lelouch, what is it?"

His boyfriend didn't reply, seeming completely out of it. Suzaku took hold of Lelouch's shoulders, now well and truly alarmed. "Lelouch?"

Lelouch blinked, finally snapping out of his trance. "Suzaku... What... Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

Lelouch didn't get the chance to explain his cryptic comment. All of a sudden, the truck started again, so quickly it completely took them by surprise.

He and Lelouch lost their balance and fell through an open hatch, into the truck.

Normally, Suzaku would have probably been able to stop it, but he was standing in an awkward position and still holding onto Lelouch. The only thing he managed to do was to control his fall and make sure Lelouch didn't accidentally get hurt in the process.

They were back on their feet in seconds, already trying to figure out a solution to their predicament. "You'd think they'd put a ladder on the inside of the truck too," Lelouch mumbled as he looked around.

"I could climb out and help you up," Suzaku offered, removing his glasses so that he could see better in the dim light. It wouldn't be a big deal, he concluded. With a little bit of momentum, he could easily reach the hatch.

Lelouch seemed to consider the suggestion. Yes, it was risky to jump out of a moving truck, but staying inside didn't seem like a good option either.

The decision was made for them seconds later.

"Stop the vehicle! Surrender now and you'll get the chance to defend yourself in court."

Suzaku shared a look with Lelouch. On his boyfriend's face, he saw the same dread and dawning realization. Shit. They'd ended up in a truck that belonged to some sort of rebel force.

The sound of bullets raining against the tarmac made them both flinch. Suzaku cursed. "What the hell is going on?" he whispered.

"Could this have something to do with the operation you mentioned earlier?" Lelouch asked. "Tohdoh-sensei's reconnaissance mission?"

"No way," Suzaku said, shaking his head. "You know the JLF doesn't come so close to Tokyo. And if they had plans to change that, it would be an important operation and Tohdoh-sensei would have taken me along."

"It must be one of the smaller cells then," Lelouch said. "Who's in charge here?"

"I think... It was Kozuki's group. Kaname Ohgi took over after he died."

Outside, the voices of the Britannian soldiers rang out yet again. "Surrender now, or we'll shoot to kill."

If the situation had been less serious, Suzaku would have rolled his eyes. The moment the rebels surrendered—which was unlikely—they would undoubtedly be killed. Suzaku and Lelouch might just get pulled along into it, if they weren't careful.

Fuck, how was he supposed to protect Lelouch from this? He had a gun on him, but that would hardly help him against the full force of the Britannian army.

Before Suzaku could figure out an answer to this dilemma, a redheaded girl emerged from the front of the truck. Instinctively, Suzaku pulled Lelouch into the shadows. These people were on his side, but he had no idea how they would react to Lelouch's presence. And if he came out and revealed himself, it was highly unlikely that Lelouch would be able to stay hidden. He could technically use his authority as a member of the Six Houses of Kyoto, but it was dangerous in such volatile circumstances, and he didn't know where it would leave them later.

 "Can you enter the subway via the Azabu route?" the girl asked, presumably directing the question toward the driver.

"Kallen, let's use it here!" the driver called out, ignoring her inquiry. "Why not?"

"Because that would mean a blood bath!" the girl replied.

Blood bath? What did she mean? Use what?

Even if he had wanted to ask, Suzaku wouldn't have had the time to do it. The girl unveiled a knightmare, an older model red Glasgow. As she got in, Suzaku mentally sighed. If he had known the machine was there, he and Lelouch could have made their escape. Even in a Glasgow, he could have easily taken out their pursuers.

Too late now.

The girl was already shooting her Slash Harkens at the Britannians. Suzaku could only hope she was a good enough pilot to compensate for the fact that the Glasgow was inferior to the Sutherlands the Britannians would undoubtedly send.

As the Glasgow jumped out of the truck and engaged the Britannians in combat, the truck continued on its way. "I've seen that girl before, although I don't remember where," Lelouch said, now using the secret sign language he had designed as a child.

Suzaku could not blame him for his paranoia. It did not seem like the people from the truck could hear them talking, but it was always better to be safe rather than sorry.

The sound of bullets being fired up ahead quickly made him realize that whatever the girl was doing might not be enough to allow them to make their escape. The truck jerked, signaling the fact that the driver must have veered in a different direction. Then, the light coming from the hatch dimmed and faded. They had entered the subway, no doubt, as the girl had said.

Lelouch and Suzaku both held their breaths as they waited for another attack. It never came. Suzaku assumed the truck must've lost its pursuers. That was a good thing, but it still left Suzaku and Lelouch with a big problem.

Lelouch checked his phone and grimaced. He didn't speak, but he did show Suzaku his phone. No signal.

Suzaku looked at his own phone and realized with a heavy heart that he was in the same situation. Apparently, they were deep enough underground to make communication through their phones impossible.

Damn it all. If he'd realized that sooner, he'd have tried to call Tohdoh-sensei before. Oh, well. It couldn't be helped now.

"What do you make of this, Lelouch?" he asked, looking up from the useless phone. It was much too dark to continue signing, so he compromised and kept his voice down. "What did that redhead mean earlier?"

"I think she must've been talking about this," Lelouch said, pointing at a capsule stashed in the center of the truck. "It must be some kind of weapon. A bomb. Although I'm more inclined to think it's a chemical or biological weapon. As far as I can tell, the valves power a mechanism that is meant to open the capsule, not detonate it."

In the barely-there light of Lelouch's phone, the capsule looked incredibly ominous, and Suzaku suppressed a shudder. If this was indeed a biological weapon of some kind, a blood bath was an optimistic term. Why was this the first time they'd heard about it? Why hadn't Ohgi's group, or whoever had stolen this, contacted them about it?

Was it possible that this was indeed connected to Tohdoh-sensei's mission like Lelouch had suggested? It might be. This was dangerous, so Tohdoh-sensei might have kept him from it to protect him.

"All right, enough of this," Suzaku said, well and truly irritated with the situation. "We need to take over the truck."

Lelouch grabbed Suzaku's hand before Suzaku could storm into the driver's cabin. "I'm not sure that's a good idea."

"What? Why?"

"I'm not as familiar with maps of the old city as I'd like to be, but if we're in the subways, I'm pretty sure we must be headed for an exit somewhere in the ghetto," Lelouch reasoned. "Just the same, I don't know this area and neither do you. This place is massive and we could get lost. Britannians are undoubtedly after us, and there's no telling how the driver would react if he sees me. We can't afford delays. Let's let him take us out. Once that happens, we can take the truck and be on our way."

That made sense. Although Suzaku despaired at how much of his life was spent with him being forced to wait for other people to do things, he had no knowledge of the real extent of Tohdoh-sensei's involvement and rushing in could make even more of a mess.

He and Lelouch settled down in the truck, considering their options. "Do you suppose the roads out of the Tokyo settlement will be blocked?" Suzaku asked.

"It's a possibility. But we may be able to find a place to stash this thing and lose ourselves in the chaos. Once we're out, we can call the JLF to deal with the problem in an organized way."

"If they aren't involved already," Suzaku said, with some reluctance.

 Lelouch didn't seem surprised at Suzaku's about-face. Tohdoh-sensei's reasoning must have occurred to him too.

He took another look at the capsule. "Of course, I could be wrong and this could be something entirely different."

"But you don't think so."

"Not really, no," Lelouch said softly.

Their fingers entwined on the floor of the truck. Lelouch set his head on Suzaku's shoulder. "I really hate Britannia, Suzaku."

Suzaku felt the same. It was at times like these that the fire and frustration inside him burned the brightest. Britannia truly was a blight upon the world, a poison much like the one he and Lelouch had possibly stumbled on. And the worst thing was that, because of the upper class that ruled the imperialistic government, everyone was pushed along into wars and xenophobic mentalities.

How would he ever be able to make people see that not all Britannians were bad, if this sort of thing kept happening? How would he manage to remain both a member of the JLF and Lelouch vi Britannia's boyfriend?

 He was snapped out of his thoughts when the truck jolted and came to an abrupt halt. "Another accident?" he asked.

Lelouch let out an exasperated sigh. "Looks like it. Apparently, I was a little too optimistic. I should have let you drive."

Probably, but Suzaku didn't say it. Lelouch was often harder on himself than anyone could ever be. "I might have crashed it too, since I don't know the area. It doesn't matter right now."

The side door of the truck opened, interrupting their conversation and finally providing them with a way out. "Stay here," Suzaku told Lelouch.

Lelouch nodded, deferring to Suzaku in a situation he was more prepared for. Suzaku carefully stole a look out of the car. It was dark, and the headlights of the truck provided them with very little illumination, but he didn't think there was anyone out there. He couldn't hear any movement, at least.

Slowly and carefully, he left the car. Still nothing. All right, their pursuers had probably not gotten the chance to reach them yet.

Moving as quickly as possible, Suzaku headed for the front of the car. What he saw made him flinch.

The truck was stuck in a massive hole. They'd need some sort of mechanism to pull the car out, and they didn't have the time, the manpower or the means to do it.

"Well, this keeps getting better and better," Lelouch said from behind him.

Suzaku was in no way surprised that his boyfriend had followed him. "Pretty much. Let's check on the driver."

It was very likely the man was injured in some way, otherwise there was no way he could have missed the obstacle in their path.

Indeed, in the driver's seat, Suzaku found a wounded man who appeared to be have been shot. He was conscious, but only barely. He was also completely unfamiliar to Suzaku, which confused Suzaku even more.

"Who... Who are you?" the rebel managed to ask.

"My name is Suzaku Kururugi," Suzaku replied as he helped the man out of the truck. "I'm with the JLF."

"Kururugi? Of the Six Houses of Kyoto?"

"Yes." Suzaku set the man on the ground and pressed his hand to the wound. "You're with Ohgi's group, right? What's your name? What were you trying to do here?"

"Takeshi Nagata. And... The... capsule inside. They were transporting it somewhere. We stole it from the Britannians. There's a bomb. It's rigged to explode."

As he spoke, the rebel tried to move, which just made more blood seep out of his wound. That almost seemed like a cue, because Lelouch manifested from behind them, carrying a first aid kit. He must've gone back to the truck and found something there.

Takeshi twitched when he saw Lelouch approach. "A Britannian?"

"Yes," Lelouch said. "A Britannian, and a friend who knows first aid. Stop complaining about my nationality and let me help you before you bleed out. Suzaku, hold him down."

Suzaku knew a little first aid too, but Lelouch was better at it. He was no doctor, but living with his disabled sister and having lost his mother in a shooting had given him great incentive to learn this kind of thing.

Unfortunately, Lelouch couldn't pull out the bullet. All he could do was stem the blood flow with a perfectly applied tourniquet. Takeshi lost consciousness due to the pain when Lelouch bound his injury, but they didn't have a choice.

"You think he'll live?" Suzaku asked.

"He needs to get actual care and I have no idea how to accomplish that. Plus there's that thing in the back."

"He said it's rigged to explode."

"I heard." Lelouch pressed his lips together tightly. "This is so idiotic. If it's some kind of chemical or biological weapon like the shape of the capsule suggests, there are high chances that it would work out poorly. Depending on the composition of whatever is inside, the explosion could just disperse the fumes, and if they reach the surface, the Japanese would be the first to die."

"Should we just leave it then?" Suzaku could see no other solution. They didn't have the means to carry it out, not with the car broken and with the Britannians gaining on them.  "Judging by the driver's shock at seeing me, I don't think Tohdoh-sensei is in any way aware of this operation."

Lelouch grimaced. "That's true. Anyway, if we do leave it, Britannia is likely to just retrieve it and that'll be that. But it's still a weapon and something that will undoubtedly be used against us in the future."

Suzaku looked at Lelouch's pale face and his blood-covered hands and made a decision. "We have no choice. We're leaving it and getting out of here."

Lelouch had once told him that he was a selfish creature at heart. So was Suzaku, and his priority now was to protect Lelouch. They'd find a solution for this biological weapon later. Maybe they could still reach the JLF in some way when they were out of the subway tunnels. In the meantime, getting themselves captured and killed would solve nothing.

"Right then. Time to go."

Suzaku had every intention of grabbing the unconscious rebel and doing exactly that. He never got the chance.

The capsule mechanism must have been damaged in the crash, because there was a sudden hiss and it started to open. Suzaku threw himself over Lelouch and covered his boyfriend's face with his hand. It probably would not help them if they were truly facing a Britannian biological/chemical weapon, but he was out of options and out of ideas.

His terror melted into shock when he noticed there was no gas of any kind coming from inside the capsule. Bright light filled the tunnels, and the figure of a green-haired woman appeared within Suzaku's sight.

"That's no weapon," he whispered, half to himself, half to Lelouch.

What in the world was going on here?

****

Tohdoh Kyoshiro was freaking out. This was it, the day he had been preparing himself for, and he had well and utterly messed it up.

For years, Tohdoh had been asking himself what to do about the Shinjuku massacre. His knowledge of what had happened that day was rather sketchy, but from what he knew, the whole incident had started from Ohgi's people stealing an unknown Britannian weapon. The official story claimed that the deaths had been related to the rebels using said weapon, but Tohdoh knew that couldn't have been the case, and it had been Britannia who had killed all those people. The actual reason why was a mystery, though, and in his previous life, he had never thought to ask.

He had eventually concluded the incident might have been in some way related to Geass. Lelouch didn't have his power yet, of that much Tohdoh was certain, and so far, he had not changed enough to wildly modify the course of the prince's life. C.C. had said that Lelouch had received the Geass from her. So the most likely conclusion was that they must've met that day in Shinjuku, the day Zero had practically been born.

This was what had created Tohdoh's dilemma. If he intervened and kept Lelouch from the Geass, what would be the result? He had no idea, and that scared him. For all he knew, he could accidentally end up killing the prince, which would be a disaster. Not to mention that he was very well aware that the Geass had helped Lelouch in his quest against Britannia. It was a tool they couldn't afford to discard.

Once, he had been so terrified of it that he had turned his gun on his leader. But that had been before its power had allowed him to go back in time and given him a chance to become the father Suzaku deserved.

So Tohdoh concluded they needed Geass and they needed the witch.

At the same time, completely staying out of the Shinjuku skirmish didn't sit well with him either. So where did that leave him? How much could he afford to interfere without risking too big of a change?

His conclusion had been simple. He would go to Shinjuku, infiltrate the area and hopefully do some damage control that way.

The plan had worked well so far. He'd made up the fact that he had received intel of an unknown operation possibly taking place in the Tokyo settlement in the near future. It had not been the first time he'd done this, as Lelouch's Clovisland trip had yielded more results than any of them had expected. If anyone asked him to elaborate later, he'd come up with some sort of excuse, but he doubted it would be an issue. The JLF trusted him.

Since they supposedly hadn't received the exact time and place of the operation, he had agreed with Katase and the others to take a small group and stay undercover. The Four Holy Swords had gone with him, along with a few others.

He had debated the pros and cons of taking Suzaku along but had ultimately decided against it. This had the potential of going south very quickly, since they would not have their knightmares with them. As far as he could tell, Suzaku's life was kept safe by the strange phenomenon that had allowed Tohdoh to return to that fateful day of Genbu's death, but that didn't mean the boy couldn't get himself caught. And honestly, Tohdoh was not comfortable with relying with something he didn't completely understand. Better for Suzaku to stay in Narita, where he was safe.

To make sure Suzaku wouldn't do anything stupid, he'd gone so far so as to hide the information from the boy. He really should have known better than to do such a thing and to take his eye off Suzaku on such a day.

Hidden in an abandoned apartment building in the ghettoes, Tohdoh stared at the screen of his phone. He wanted to believe that Suzaku not having signal on his phone was an anomaly, but he knew that could only happen in extreme circumstances. "Tohdoh-sensei?" Chiba said from behind him. "You said we were supposed to be moving out."

With shaking hands, Tohdoh pocketed his phone. "Right. Get ready for the operation. If the intel we got is right, we may have to start evacuating citizens soon."

Chiba nodded and rushed to follow his orders. If only she knew that Tohdoh's heart was no longer on the mission, but on his missing son.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT NOTE: READERS OF RISE OF THE UNHOLY TRINITY!  
> While I was writing this, I realized I completely messed up the timeline in that one. The events in CG R1 do indeed take place in August-September. This makes no sense whatsoever to me. I always assumed the whole thing happened late spring-early summer, but apparently not.  
> Who sends kids to school in August? Britannia is officially evil!  
> Anyway, I may at one point go back to edit the time-sensitive details in that one, but for the moment, I'm leaving it as is, because in the big picture it's not so important and I have to make changes to more than one chapter. Don't worry, that doesn't mean I won't update. I have a chapter for that one pending too. Just making a point clear, since I mentioned the date here.  
> Back to Men of Miracles, I hope Tohdoh's logic makes sense. He knows he can't save everyone, so he's prioritizing and doing damage control. It's just not working out as well as he hoped.


	10. The Knight and the King Awaken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go. Second part of Shinjuku. I hope you like where I am taking it.  
> All comments and kudos feed the muse!

Lelouch had seen many things in his life. He'd seen more death than he'd have liked and had shed his ties to his remaining family when they had attacked his true one.

But no matter what happened, no matter how aware he was of Britannia's cruelty, they always seemed to be able to surprise him.

A biological weapon wasn't in itself unusual. That had not shocked him. Frightened him, yes, but it had not exactly been something out of the realm of possibility.

But this woman... Who was she and what was she doing in that strange capsule?

She was strapped down in a straightjacket, gagged and bound like an animal. Tears flowed from her eyes. She barely seemed able to move.

Instinctively, Lelouch ran forward to help her. Suzaku joined him. Clearly he agreed that the woman's identity mattered less than her condition.

As Lelouch unbound her hands, Suzaku removed her gag. "Are you all right? Can you breathe?"

The woman nodded silently, staring at them with unfathomable, unsettling gold eyes. "Can you stand?" Lelouch asked.

Another nod. Lelouch gave her a hand, and she got up with no apparent trouble. At least she wasn't as hurt as Lelouch had originally thought.

Lelouch wanted to ask her who she was and how she'd ended up as a Britannian captive, but that would have to wait. "Time to go, Suzaku. We've lingered here too long."

"Right." Suzaku grabbed the still unconscious rebel and took him in his arms, careful not to jostle the tourniquet. Lelouch remembered to snatch the rebel communicator he had spotted in the car, since it would be much too dangerous if left behind and could come in handy later. Then, he took the girl's hand, and together, they started to make their way forward, through the subway.

The tunnels were massive and just as labyrinthine as Lelouch had expected. They picked the general direction Takeshi seemed to have been headed in, while Lelouch frantically tried to compare his current location to his general knowledge of the structure of the settlement and of the subway.

There would be staircases and access routes meant for maintenance personnel. If they could find their way to the right one, they could reach the surface and hopefully make their escape.  

It was a straightforward enough idea, but it seemed to take forever, especially since they occasionally had to stop to make sure Takeshi hadn't died on them. All the while, the girl remained stubbornly silent, not uttering one word. Suzaku and Lelouch did the same, even silencing their phones to make sure nobody heard them. Whenever they needed to communicate, they used sign language. It was tiresome, since they had very little light in the tunnels, but it could not be helped. The Britannians were undoubtedly not far behind and at this point, the slightest sound could get them caught.

And then it happened. The ground started to shake, the sound of distant explosions reaching them even here. Suzaku's breath caught. He knew what that meant as well as Lelouch did.

By now, Lelouch was pretty sure they must be pretty close to the exit, which would be in the Japanese ghettoes. He was not looking forward to what he'd find outside.

He was proven correct the moment they reached the surface. He and Suzaku peered past the exit, only to see a man fall under a rain of bullets mere feet away from them.

By Lelouch's side, Suzaku was very still, his jaw tight in anger. Yet again, his people were being massacred. It was just like seven years ago, when they had been children making their way through the devastation left behind by the Britannian forces that had invaded Japan.

Beyond the pile of dead bodies littering the ground, a small group of Britannia soldiers clustered together. "Report!" the one who was their leader barked.

"We found only Elevens here, Sir."

"You're sure. Could they have gone to another exit?"

"It's possible, but the main one leads here. It matches up with the map of the old city. We've deployed other forces to check the rest of the perimeter, as ordered."

"There've been pockets of resistance in some areas," someone else said. "The Elevens are evacuating faster than expected."

"So the thieves could be with them," their leader concluded. "Tch. We need to find them. His Highness, Prince Clovis, will not be pleased."

Clovis. Lelouch clenched his fists at the knowledge that his own brother was directing this attack.

He would pay, and pay in blood.

By his side, Suzaku slowly set Takeshi down. "Stay here," he signed. "Keep your head down."

Lelouch's heart clenched in his chest, but he complied. "Right. Be careful."

On silent feet, Suzaku sneaked out of their hiding place. He ducked behind some crumbled pieces of stone,  moving so stealthily the Britannian soldiers didn't see him.

Lelouch wanted to help him in some way, but unlike Suzaku, he had no real practical experience in combat. He had taken lessons with Sayoko and learned to pilot a knightmare through the simulators, but that was nothing compared to what Suzaku was capable of. If he tried to interfere now, he'd just get in the way and distract Suzaku.

In the end, the confrontation between Suzaku and the Britannian soldiers was rather anticlimactic. Suzaku pulled out his pistol and executed five of them before they even knew what was going on. The two who were left turned their machine guns on Suzaku, but he dodged the gunfire and finished them off with his remaining bullets.

Tohdoh-sensei's insistence on having Suzaku always armed when he left the mountain was paying off. Thank God.

"Well, that was easy," Suzaku said.

Lelouch emerged from his hiding spot and scanned his boyfriend from head to toe. "You okay?"

"Yep. They didn't even graze me," Suzaku replied. "Looks like they're trying to find us, though."

The words brought to mind the reason why they were in this predicament to begin with. "What's so important about you that Britannia would go so far to do this?" Lelouch snapped at the green-haired girl.

Suzaku seemed to be of the same mind. "Answer the question!" he shouted at her. "My people are being slaughtered, and it's your fault!"

The girl just stared at them impassively, showing no sign at being intimidated by their outbursts. Gritting his teeth, Lelouch turned away from her. It was useless to blame her anyway. Even if she was the reason why Britannia was after them, she could hardly be held accountable for their actions. He was convinced that in his heart, Suzaku knew it too.

They didn't have time to press the girl for more answers. Another explosion rang out and a knightmare burst into the warehouse.

Both Suzaku and Lelouch froze. They were all out in the open now, and the pilot could see them—Suzaku, Lelouch and the girl. To say that they were suspicious was the understatement of the century.

The only positive thing was that they had yet to retrieve the wounded Takeshi. If they'd done that, the situation would have been even worse.

The knightmare pointed its guns at their small group. "Put your hands up and identify yourselves," a female voice said from inside.

Lelouch frantically went over his options. Suzaku could probably dodge bullets coming from the knightmare—he was that freakishly athletic—but Lelouch wasn't nearly as fast, and if Suzaku tried to help him, he'd be slowed down too. One option would be Suzaku distracting the knightmare, which would be doable for him, since he could easily outrun the machine. Lelouch could use the time Suzaku bought to make his own escape.

But such a plan heavily relied on the idea that the pilot might be easily distracted. Try to get her out of the knightmare first, maybe? Could he do it?

Worth a shot.

"My name is Alan Spacer. My father is a duke. My ID card is in my breast pocket. After you confirm who I am, I request your protection for me, my fiancée and my manservant."

There was a small moment of hesitation during which Lelouch thought the crazy story might work. Sure, the green-haired girl might be dressed in a straightjacket and Suzaku might not look like a beaten down manservant, but grunts in the Britannian army tended to ignore such details when faced with nobility.

Unfortunately, he had forgotten about something very important while giving his explanation.

"As if I would believe that," the pilot snapped. "You're covered in blood!"

Right. Both he and Suzaku had Takeshi's blood all over their hands and clothes. The man had been bleeding copiously when Suzaku had pulled him out of the car and when they had bound his injury, and the results showed. Some of it had even gotten on the girl when Lelouch and Suzaku had extracted her from the capsule, and it stood out starkly on her white garb. They were also very clearly not injured, and that didn't look good at all when they were surrounded by the dead bodies of Britannian soldiers.

Had it been just him and the girl, he might have been able to find some excuse, but Suzaku's presence removed that option. Crap. He should have gone with his first plan.

Today was really not his best day.

"Eleven terrorists and sympathizers!" the woman shouted from the knightmare. "Stand down now!"

The warning was rather useless, since the knightmare proceeded to shoot a rain of bullets in their direction. Maybe the pilot had given Lelouch's story the benefit of the doubt, in that she did not aim for him and the green-haired girl. But she did aim for Suzaku, the manservant who was presumably expendable, and instinctively, Lelouch reached for him.

Time seemed to slow. A soft hand took hold of Lelouch's wrist just as Suzaku grabbed Lelouch's shoulder, clearly trying to protect him. Then, the world blurred, and a mysterious female voice sounded in his head. "You don't want it to end here, do you?"

What? What was going on? Where was he?

"You appear to have a reason for living. If I grant you power, could you go on?"

The figure of the green-haired girl appeared in his vision, blurred and flashing. "I propose a deal. In exchange for this power, you must agree to make my one wish come true. Accept this contract and you accept its conditions. While living in the world of humans, you will live unlike any other. A different providence, a different time, a different time. The Power of the King will condemn you to a life of solitude. Are you prepared for this?"

A life of solitude? But... He couldn't... He had made Suzaku a promise. To stay together. It was their vow. And they were stronger together than apart. He knew this with absolute certainty, just like he knew that he needed to obliterate Britannia. How could he tear himself away from Suzaku?

Did he have a choice? If he didn't do this, could he and Suzaku even make it out of here alive? What could they possibly do against that knightmare that had them in its sight? Their chances to make their escape had drastically decreased because of Lelouch's failed gamble.

Their only two exits were the tunnels they had come through, which were probably infested with Britannians looking for them by now, and the entrance blocked by the knightmare. What to do? Suzaku... Nunnally... He needed to protect them. What to do?

As these frantic thoughts passed through Lelouch's head, another figure materialized in the ether. "Lelouch isn't alone. He has me."

The girl looked surprised at Suzaku's appearance. "Oh, dear. This is most unusual."

Lelouch didn't know how much Suzaku had heard of what she'd said, but it must have been a good deal, because Suzaku was pretty much glaring at her. "Lelouch and I have already made a promise to one another, to always stick together. That always comes first."

"There can be only one king, never two," the girl said, her expression back to a small smile that could have meant anything at all.

"I have no desire to be a king," Suzaku shot back. "All I've ever wanted to be is a knight."

"A knight," the girl repeated. "So be it. If that truly your heart's desire?"

"It is," Suzaku replied without missing a beat.

"And you? Is that what you want?"

"Yes, of course," Lelouch confirmed.

"Well, then, let us see who is right—you or me. I will grant both of you this power, and in return, you must fulfill my wish. Are we agreed?"

In the strange whiteness that surrounded them, Lelouch took Suzaku's hand. "Agreed," Suzaku said.

"Yes," Lelouch offered. "I hereby accept the terms of this contract."

Something inside Lelouch shifted and incomprehensible images assaulted his mind. He thought he could recognize himself and Suzaku, although the figures didn't seem quite right. Then there was Nunnally and the green-haired girl. His parents? His mother? Shirley? And was that... Euphie? Older? What?

Before he could figure out the meaning behind the strange flashes, they vanished, and all of a sudden, he was back in the warehouse. Suzaku was on top of him, having presumably shoved himself and Lelouch out of the way of the bullets.

Right next to them was the still form of the girl. Over Suzaku's shoulder, Lelouch caught a glimpse of her dead face. She must have been pulled straight into the path of the bullets they had all been trying to avoid.

God.

So many lives wasted, all these people, now this girl. This too could not be allowed to stand.

Suzaku seemed to agree. All of a sudden, a strange sensation exploded over Lelouch. By his side, Suzaku shot to his feet. Moving faster than the eye could see, he jumped on the machine, bracing himself on the still extended gun. Before the woman could even hope to react, Suzaku relieved the knightmare of one of its own Stun Tonfas and used it to crack the cockpit open.

The pilot tried to shoot him, but Suzaku dodged. Two seconds later, the body of dark-skinned woman fell out of the cockpit. Suzaku jumped after it, landing neatly next to the now deceased pilot. His right eye shone red with the symbol of a glowing bird.

"That was interesting," Lelouch said.

The red in Suzaku's eye melted back to his regular emerald, taking with it the odd sensation Lelouch had experienced.

"Can you do it too?" Suzaku asked.

"No idea." He didn't feel any stronger or faster than usual, but that meant absolutely nothing. He stole a look at the body of the green-haired girl. "I suppose the only one who could have told us is dead."

He didn't know what wish she had wanted them to fulfill, but it was too late for it now, much like it was for the hopes, wishes and dreams of countless other people, crushed under the heel of Britannia.

It was too easy to remember his mother's body riddled with bullet holes, too easy to see Marianne in the place of the now dead stranger. Bright hatred rose inside Lelouch. "Come on, Suzaku. It's time to turn this game around."

"Yes, Your Highness," Suzaku said.

The words were no longer just a teasing, affectionate comment. They meant more than that. He and Suzaku had just been given power, a power they could at last use against their enemies.

Lelouch might not know what his power was yet, but he'd figure it out, and he would do it soon. They had waited long enough, and today, they would finally start their true fight against Britannia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will come a day when I write a fic that is kind to Viletta Nu. Alas, today is not that day.  
> In case you're wondering, Lelouch's Geass will show up. He just didn't need it here because Suzaku was around to be his regular BAMF self.


	11. The Chess Match Begins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know that moment when you're torn between wrapping a char up in fluffy blankets and making him your sex slave for all time? Yeah, that's me, since I saw the far too short trailer for the fourth movie. I'm going to hell because of Suzu alone.   
> As penance, here, have another chapter for MoM. Warnings for some gore and weirdness. Also, I am working on the next bit of The Unholy Trinity. Don't worry. I won't leave you hanging on that one too long. Even if my brain has been invaded by plot bunnies involving Suzu tied up and at my mercy. Totally going to hell.

When Suzaku called his surrogate father, he expected many things. Having to launch himself into long-winded explanations. Apologizing for going against the rules.

He didn't expect Tohdoh-sensei picking up and immediately asking, "Suzaku-kun? Where are you? Are you all right?"

He sounded calm, but in that way he had when he was actually frantic with worry. Crap.

"I'm fine, Tohdoh-sensei. I'm in Tokyo. There's a battle going on." Also, he had somehow managed to acquire some sort of supernatural ability he still didn't fully understand after making a contract with a girl who had died shortly after. Not to mention all those odd images he had seen in the process, images that, despite being incomprehensible, had sent a chill down Suzaku's spine.

"I know," Tohdoh-sensei replied, oblivious to the countless things Suzaku was keeping from him. "I'm involved in it as we speak."

As if to confirm his words, the sound of gunfire echoed at the other end of the connection. Suzaku became very aware that now was really not the time for an elaborate conversation with Tohdoh-sensei, or for revealing the new developments in his life.

"Tohdoh-sensei, listen. Lelouch and I can help. Where are you?"

Tohdoh explained that he and his people were working their way through the ghettoes, protecting the civilians and trying to get them to evacuate. They had no knightmares, though, so it was a losing battle.

"Tell him to hang in there for a while longer," Lelouch said over his shoulder. "We're coming."

Suzaku relayed the message, and Tohdoh seemed to accept the words at face value. "We'll be waiting."

As it turned out, Lelouch had made good use of the time Suzaku had spent on the phone with Tohdoh. Using the knightmare—still activated, fortunately, despite the fate of its pilot—he had checked some data on Britannian systems and had figured out something very interesting.

Apparently, a shipment of new knightmares was nearby and ready to be used. Perfect.

In an ideal world, Suzaku and Lelouch could have just gotten into the knightmare together and that would've been that. However, there was Takeshi to consider. They had yet to find the wounded man help, and they couldn't just leave him there. Lelouch hoped he could fix the problem through the communicator, but in the meantime, someone had to make sure the man didn't bleed out or die on them. Technically, Suzaku had his doubts the man even had many chances of survival right now, but regardless, they needed to try.

And so it was that Suzaku and Lelouch made their way in the direction of the shipment on their own, with Lelouch in the knightmare, and Suzaku on its shoulder, carrying Takeshi. They were pretty conspicuous, but Lelouch had the map with all the Britannian units on the field, so despite their difficulties, they managed to get to their destination unhindered. All the knightmares there were new, so they weren't code-locked. All Suzaku had to do was get into one, remove the IFF and he was all set.

"Just got off the phone with Shirley," Lelouch told him once Suzaku was inside. "She says there's nothing on the television about what's going on here."

"They're trying to keep a lid on it then."

"Yes, and that will make it hard for them to get reinforcements. These people don't know it yet, Suzaku, but we may have the upper hand in this one."

The first thing they did after that was go to the assistance of the girl in the red Glasgow. Lelouch had spotted her being chased by a Sutherland while they were on their way here.

He directed her onto the west tracks, making her lure the Sutherland pursuing her there. It was easy for Suzaku to intervene from there and engage the Sutherland in combat. The man inside was a good pilot, but he had nothing on Suzaku, and within less than a minute, he was forced to eject.

"Thank you," the girl in the Glasgow said. "You saved me. But how did you get your hands on a Sutherland?"

She seemed to be assuming that Suzaku was the same person who had spoken to her through the communicator, but Lelouch quickly fixed that. "That doesn't matter right now. Make your way to the following coordinates. We found your friend Takeshi Nagata and he requires medical attention. Q1 will accompany you there."

As expected, the mentioning of the injured rebel eliminated any sort of resistance or question the girl might have had. She followed the order without question. Meanwhile, Suzaku let out a small huff. "Q1, Lelouch? Really?"

"What? Do you have trouble with the idea of being my queen?"

"I thought we've already established that I'm your knight."

"You can be both," Lelouch replied. "Besides, don't you know, Suzaku, that in chess, the queen is the most powerful piece?"

Suzaku could hardly argue with that. Besides, he'd long ago decided he would be anything Lelouch needed.

He and the girl met up with Lelouch and the rest of Ohgi's group in front of the train. "Is it true?" Ohgi asked, panting. "You found Nagata?"

"He's here!" the redhead said, having already gotten out of the Glasgow and knelt next to the spot where Suzaku had left the injured rebel.

"We've given him some basic first aid," Suzaku said from his own machine, "but that was a while ago, and he needs real help."

"Wait, wait," another rebel piped up. "Who are you guys again and how do we know you're not the ones to hurt Nagata?"

That was the dumbest question in the history of mankind. They'd have hardly bothered to apply a tourniquet and carry Takeshi here just to lure a ragtag group of rebels.

To his credit, Lelouch didn't lose his temper. "We're with the JLF. Right now, our identities are classified, but as proof of our trustworthiness, I present to you the tools for our victory."

The rebels changed their tune quickly when Lelouch showed them the knightmares, all with their IFFs now removed. "We have more reinforcements from the JLF in the ghettoes, but currently, they're pinned down. We need to help them," he explained. "Follow my orders and we will win."

That was exactly what they did. They had to leave one man with the injured Takeshi, but it wasn't a big deal. The rest of the rebel forced followed Lelouch's orders to the letter, and together, they pushed back the Britannian knightmares.

As for Suzaku, he made his way to Tohdoh-sensei's location. He was trapped by several Britannian units, like he had said, and Suzaku proceeded to fix that in the easiest way—the one that caused a lot of explosions.

Once his own Sutherland was the last one standing, Tohdoh-sensei emerged from the spot where he had been taking cover. "Suzaku-kun?"

"Yes. Is everyone here all right?"

"We have injured, both among our own and among the civilians."

Suzaku was unsurprised to hear this. "Right. We need to find a way to evacuate then."

Tohdoh-sensei's piloting skills could have come in handy, but they were out of knightmares and Tohdoh was needed to finish his own part of the job. Helping the civilians.

Fortunately, Tohdoh-sensei was not completely without means. He actually had appropriated some vehicles on his own, and with the knightmares out of his way, he was no longer stuck unable to use them.

Suzaku originally intended to escort them, but a problem popped up on his radar. Due to the destruction spree Lelouch had been on through the rebels, Clovis had taken an unexpected step. "Suzaku, there's an unidentified unit headed your way," Lelouch said. "It's already taken out three of the rebel units. It's very fast. See if you can capture it. If not, destroy it."

"Not a problem." To Tohdoh-sensei and the others, he said, "I need to go. I'll be in contact and I'll try to send some people to help."

He didn't wait for a reply. Time was of the essence if this unit was as dangerous as Lelouch believed.

He found the Britannian knightmare before it found him. It was obviously an experimental model of some kind. As tempted as Suzaku was to engage immediately and test his skill against it, the machine was probably superior to Suzaku's own Sutherland in every way, so instead he made a different call.

It was time to use his recently acquired power once again.

As soon as he came within view, the knightmare attempted to attack him with a strange rifle-like weapon. Suzaku dodged with ease and responded with a volley of bullets from his own machine. A shield unlike anything Suzaku had seen before popped up, something that repelled the projectiles.  Unfortunate, but not a big obstacle. As far as he could tell, the shield's range was limited to the front of the machine, obviously being mounted on the knightmare's arms. What Suzaku wanted to reach was in the back anyway.

The second attempt of knightmare to attack him came in the shape of Slash Harkens. When that failed too, it pulled out a pair of swords that reminded him a little of the ones on his own Burai and charged Suzaku. Suzaku took his chance. The same rush he'd gotten in the warehouse exploded over him, and suddenly, the experimental mech seemed ten times slower than him.

It was a piece of cake to sneak behind it and attack the cockpit like he had with the pilot in the warehouse. The biggest challenge was to not damage the machine too much.

He ended stabbing the cockpit, just hard enough to kill the pilot, but not damage the systems inside. It was not an ideal solution and he was not looking forward to what he'd find inside the machine, but it was faster, and he had no desire to prolong this battle, not when he was needed elsewhere.

"I got it," he told Lelouch, "although I'm going to need a lot of detergent to clean up tonight."

"I'm sure something can be arranged, Q1," Lelouch said.

Suzaku's guess was proven correct when he had to remove the dead body from inside. He did so without analyzing it too closely and ignored the blood congealing on the chair. "It's even nicer on the inside than it looks from the outside," he commented. Except for all the blood, but that wasn't so important.

"Did you damage it on your way in and does it operate differently from the Sutherland?"

"There's some mild damage, but the chair got the brunt of it. It's usable. As for the rest of it, the controls are not very different." He might have some trouble with the exact capabilities of the weaponry, but it seemed to operate like the knightmares he was used to and he was adaptable. He'd be fine.

"Excellent work, Suzaku. As expected of my knight."

"And your queen, eh?"

"That too."

As they finished their exchange, the coms of Suzaku's new mech started to ring. Just out of curiosity, Suzaku accepted the transmission, being careful to block the camera. A panicked male voice started to screech. "You! You... You Eleven! Come back here with my Lancelot right this instant!"

"Not yours any longer. This knightmare has been appropriated in the name of the freedom of Japan. I'd apologize, but you've taken far more from us."

"What? Who... Who are you?"

Suzaku ignored the question and shut down the coms. As he removed the IFFs and made the machine impossible to track, he wondered how he should have answered the inquiry. He was Suzaku Kururugi, but starting today, he had become more. Lelouch's knight.

He laughed lightly. Perhaps the name of the mech was suitable. Lancelot indeed.

After that, Suzaku reentered the battle. A heady, almost orgasmic feeling engulfed him as he found himself using his gift from the green-haired girl again and again. Between that and the machine, he went through the remaining Britannian troops like a knife through butter, all the while listening to Lelouch directing the rebels like they were his own personal chess pieces.

For the most part, he tried to stay close to Lelouch, but he wasn't always successful, since he was acting as Lelouch's most powerful piece and attack force, while Lelouch was mostly directing everything from a distance and occasionally sniping unfortunate and unaware knightmares when he had them within his view.

All things considered, he was relieved when Lelouch told them to begin evacuating. The JLF had managed to clear out the remaining civilians and between Lelouch, Suzaku and the rebels, the area had been cleared of the preliminary Britannian attack force, so technically, they had the advantage, something they could have exploited. However, he didn't like being apart from Lelouch, and the battle had gone on long enough.

As it turned out, Lelouch still had a task for Suzaku, one they could share. Once everyone else was gone through the tunnels, Lelouch explained his plan to Suzaku, and Suzaku wholeheartedly agreed.

It took a little bit of maneuvering, largely because they couldn't approach Clovis's G1 base with the very visible, hijacked experimental knightmare. However, the transport unit in question was also not very far from them and Clovis had made the stupid decision to use his own guard in battle against Lelouch.

They stashed the Lancelot in the ghettoes, planning to return for it after, and stole two uniforms from some unfortunate members of the Britannian infantry to replace their own clothes. With the help of Suzaku's new talent, sneaking into Clovis's mobile base was laughably easy.

The first thing Lelouch did was tell his brother to disengage all forces and retreat, thus ending the battle permanently and ensuring that the inhabitants of Shinjuku would eventually be able to return should they so desire. Clovis obeyed without protest, although he did not seem too concerned with having a gun pointed at his head.

"And shall we do now? Sing a few lively ballads, or perhaps a nice game of chess?"

"That has a familiar ring," Lelouch replied, still pointing his gun at Clovis. Suzaku stood by, watching the exchange in silence.

Clovis looked puzzled. "Hmm?"

"Don't you recall?" Lelouch drawled. "The two of us used to play chess together as boys. Of course, I would always win."

The shock on Clovis's face when Lelouch revealed his true identity was genuine, but so was his fear. Undoubtedly, he must have realized that unlike a regular terrorist, who'd want to use the viceroy of Area 11 to negotiate, Lelouch would not hesitate to kill him.

Of course, Lelouch also had another agenda when he'd come here today. He had some questions he needed to ask, a dilemma that had plagued him ever since he'd been a child. "What happened to my mother, Clovis?"

"I don't know, Lelouch," Clovis said, his face white as chalk. "I have no idea."

"Not good enough." The same rush from before flowed over Suzaku and Lelouch said, "Answer me! By whose hand was she slain?"

 Suzaku watched in shock as Clovis's face went slack, all emotion wiped away in the blink of an eye. "My brother second prince Schneizel and second princess Cornelia, they can tell you."

"They were at the heart of this?" Lelouch hissed, livid. No response came from the still blank-faced Clovis. "That's all that you know, isn't it."

Lelouch didn't seem very satisfied, but there were no further answers to be found here. The blankness in Clovis's eyes faded, and instantly, it was replaced by panic. "I swear it wasn't me. I had nothing to do with it."

The change between the two states was rather jarring, but even without whatever Lelouch had done, Suzaku could have been able to tell that Clovis was being truthful. It was right there, in the sound of his pulse that Suzaku could now easily hear, in the dilation of his pupils, in the scent of his fear.

"He's telling the truth," he blurted out.

Clovis actually shot Suzaku a grateful look, which, under the circumstances, was a little hilarious. "Yes," he said, his shoulders slumping in relief. "I'm innocent."

"Not quite," Lelouch replied. "You might have had nothing to do with my mother's death, but unfortunately for you, your actions today are still unforgivable."

Clovis must have realized what Lelouch had in mind, because his eyes widened and he started to tremble like a leaf. "Lelouch, no! Please, you can't! We may have different mothers but you and I are still blood."

"Perhaps... But haven't you realized, brother," Lelouch asked, "that the only ones who should kill are those prepared to be killed?"

And with that, Lelouch pressed the trigger, ridding the world of Clovis's presence.

"Looks like we're done here, Suzaku," he said. Barely sparing the body a second glance, he added, "And I suppose now we know what my own talent actually does."

Suzaku nodded. Strangely, he didn't feel particularly jubilant at seeing Clovis punished, nor was he too concerned about the odd powers he and Lelouch had received. No, the only thing he could focus on was something entirely different.

"Come on. Let's get out of here."

Maybe Lelouch had the same idea, because he went along with Suzaku without comment. When Suzaku pulled him into the white knightmare frame, he didn't protest. When Suzaku kissed him, he kissed back. And when Suzaku started to unzip his clothes, he reciprocated.

The knightmare cockpit was cramped, but that hardly mattered. Lelouch was flexible enough to make up for that and he happily spread his legs for Suzaku. As Suzaku thrust into his boyfriend, colors and images danced behind his eyelids. Fire burned through his veins. His mind was ablaze with a million thoughts and memories.

Never had sex felt so good and never had he loved Lelouch more. He knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that Lelouch felt the same, and that was a treasure more precious than anything, more precious than Japan itself.

In the pocket of Suzaku's abandoned clothes, his phone rang again. He didn't hear it, too busy drinking in the taste of his lover's sweat and his tears and the feel of his tight body practically swallowing his whole.

Elsewhere, Tohdoh Kyoshiro got a very bad feeling. He suddenly knew this disaster of a day would bring about more consequences than he had ever expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise there's a completely rational explanation for the weirdness at the end. Next chapter.


	12. Out of Control

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go. I miraculously managed to finish this beast of a chapter I've been working on for a while. Enjoy my insanity!

_August 16th, 2017, a.t.b._

Lelouch cracked his eyes open and groaned as the rays of the merciless sun seemed to stab into his eyelids. He buried his face in Suzaku's bare shoulder, having absolutely no desire to move.

By his side, his boyfriend finally stirred. "Lelouch? What... What time is it?"

A brief glimpse around, at the light filtering through the curtains, told Lelouch the likely hour of the day. "Early morning, I..."

He trailed off as memories of the day before flashed through his mind. Suzaku froze, probably for the exact same reason.

Through a mild haze, Lelouch recalled stumbling into his quarters at Ashford with Suzaku in tow. Apparently, he'd thought it was a great idea to bring his blood-covered boyfriend, as well as the machine they'd stolen, to the school where his little sister was hidden.

By some sort of miracle, he'd had the foresight to actually sneak in through the underground passageways and not simply walk into the school. He'd also remembered to take a bath, which was a good thing, given that both he and his boyfriend been covered in the remnants of a person, after they'd had sex in the experimental knightmare Suzaku had not bothered to clean.

Once they'd done that, they'd retired to Lelouch's room and proceeded to have a lot of sex. Again. At one point, Lelouch must have conked out, because that was the last thing he remembered.

Before he could figure out what exactly had made him act in this strange way, a female voice shattered the shocked silence in the room. "Hello, Lelouch."

Suzaku reacted first. He rolled over, pushed Lelouch behind him and grabbed the first object he could find, ready to defend Lelouch. It would have been hilarious had the item in question not been the gun Lelouch had used to kill Clovis.

The memory of himself blowing his brother's brains out flashed through Lelouch's mind. At the time, it hadn't bothered him, but now that he remembered it, nausea assaulted him.

He covered his mouth and stumbled toward the bathroom. Fortunately, he didn't run into anyone outside.

Suzaku ran after him and held Lelouch's hair while he emptied the contents of his stomach. Distantly, Lelouch remembered a different time, when he had done his best to comfort a younger Suzaku, first after he had killed Genbu Kururugi, then after his first missions, when he had been struggling with what he needed to do to accomplish the freedom of his homeland.

It was that memory that gave him the strength to gather his bearings. Clovis was dead, yes, by Lelouch's own hand, but he had deserved it. He'd murdered all those innocent people, ordered a massacre. Lelouch's actions had been just. He might have his brother's blood on his hands now, but it was for a good reason, and he refused to lose sleep over it.

"Are you okay?" Suzaku asked as Lelouch finally managed to pull away from the toilet.

"Fine. Well, mostly." He was still confused about what had happened the day before, but he hoped to get some answers soon.

Suzaku helped him up, fussing over him like a mother hen. Lelouch wanted to tell him not to worry, but he knew it would pointless. Instead, he addressed the more pressing matter at hand. "I think we have a big problem here."

"Several big problems," Suzaku said glumly.

One of said problems was still waiting for them in Lelouch's bedroom once he and Suzaku returned there. Lelouch had almost expected to find her gone, half-hoping he'd imagined her presence, but apparently, he would not be so lucky.

Well, there was no point in running away from the inevitable. "Okay, who are you and how did you get here?"

"I walked," the girl replied.

"That's not what Lelouch meant," Suzaku snapped. "You died! We saw you."

"I'm not so easily killed. Besides, we have a contract, remember?"

Right. The contract and the strange power he and Suzaku had received from the girl.  "How does your contract with us in any way relate to you returning from the dead?"

The girl stared of them with that same stoic, blank look that Lelouch was beginning to think was her default expression. Lelouch let out an exasperated sigh. "Right. Would you mind... giving Suzaku and me a minute? We need to talk, but not like this."

He and his boyfriend had washed up a bit in the bathroom and wrapped a pair of towels around their waists, but that doesn't mean Lelouch was comfortable being half-naked around this strange girl.

Fortunately, she left without protest, and Lelouch focused on the practicalities of finding his boyfriend something to wear. He and Suzaku were almost of the same height, with Lelouch being just a little taller, but Suzaku was broader due to all the physical training he had received, whereas Lelouch was leaner. It wasn't that much of an issue. Lelouch unearthed a new pair of underwear, a shirt that was a little loose on him and a pair of jeans. Since Suzaku's boots were fortunately still wearable, they were all set.

They dressed in silence, still trying to process what had happened to them. Once they were decent, they called the girl back into Lelouch's room again. It wasn't ideal, since the place was a mess, but it was safer than sitting in the living room, where Sayoko and Nunnally could show up.

"So, who are you exactly?" Lelouch asked.

"My name is C.C."

"That doesn't tell us much. What did Clovis want with you? How did you give us that strange power?"

"The power is the reason why I was with Clovis to begin with. It is called Geass. I have a code of immortality which Clovis was studying and which allows me to give others supernatural abilities."

C.C. delivered this explanation with the same straight face that Lelouch was beginning to think was her default expression. She almost didn't seem to realize she had just planted a million more questions in Lelouch's head. Maybe she just didn't care.

He decided to focus on the most urgent one. "How does it work, exactly? What does it do and why did Suzaku and I act so abnormally yesterday?"

C.C. shrugged. "I don't know."

"You don't know?" Suzaku repeated. "How can you not know?"

"The power I give to people varies from person to person, both in abilities and downsides. And I've never actually given a power to two people at the same time like I did to the two of you. I would herald a guess that your situation may be connected to that."

That was still way too vague, but it was more than the stubborn silence from before, so Lelouch held the fraying edges of his temper together. "Right. So let's start there. Let's make a list with what we do know. If we tell you that, can you give us more data?"

Another shrug. This time, Lelouch wanted to scream, but decided to go through with his idea anyway. He wanted to see how his experience compared to Suzaku's.

It was easy to determine that the use of their power caused that strange sensation that both he and Suzaku had felt. As far as Lelouch could tell, it hadn't affected them much in the beginning. He remembered getting the knightmares for the rebels with crystal clarity, as well as most of the battle.

However, at one point, that had changed, and he figured out that the moment when this had happened was during Suzaku's battle with the experimental knightmare. "That's when I used mine again," Suzaku said. "I didn't use it before that."

"I didn't use it at all, because I had no idea how, but I still felt weird." Lelouch pursed his lips. "This makes no sense."

"It makes perfect sense," the girl unexpectedly replied. "Your power is entwined. I told you, there can only be one king. Despite you being two people, you technically have one power that manifests in two different ways. It is very likely that what you felt was the echoes of Suzaku using his own Geass."

Lelouch would have thought that sounded very outlandish, except for the fact that, for a good part of the day before, he had been completely out of his head and experiencing random surges of almost sexual pleasure for no apparent reason. And there was something else, something that hadn't occurred to him until then. "Suzaku... Exactly how were we talking throughout most of yesterday?"

"Huh? Didn't you have a communicator?"

Lelouch shook his head. "That's how I was talking to Ohgi's rebels. You didn't have one of your own. You never got it. And I never used the knightmare coms, or the phone. So how were we doing it?"

Suzaku's mouth opened and closed as he processed this. "I... I don't know. We just did it."

Yes, and Lelouch had thought nothing of it at the time. It would appear that his mental repertoire went beyond extracting answers from reluctant older brothers. He wondered what else he could do.

"How is that possible?" Suzaku asked C.C. "For someone to talk to another person in their head?"

"Geass can come in many forms, but that particular ability should technically only belong to code bearers like me, and only in very specific circumstances," she answered.

Lelouch was unimpressed with her reply. He scanned through his memory and managed to come up with something better.

"In theory..." he said, "I did read something once about how tapping into the potential of our brainwaves could make people talk telepathically to one another. But I didn't actually look into it too much. It didn't seem something feasible." Or something he had time to focus on.

It might be useful to go over it again. If nothing else, it might help him understand what the hell he was doing, and if he could do more.

In the meantime, they had to go back to the list of what they did know, since it was obvious this contract came with a lot of caveats they weren't in the least bit prepared for.

Suzaku seemed to have the same idea. "Right... So the crazy rush was... A side-effect of me using my ability? How are we even supposed to use it if we end up acting like crazy people after?"

"Every Geass is usable," C.C. said. "However, it also has its limits and comes with weaknesses. You probably just found yours sooner than most people."

"What does that even mean?" Lelouch asked in disbelief. "What kind of limit?"

"Usually, it's something like a range of use or a side-effect on the health of the user. You must be experiencing something like that."

That latter part didn't sound too good. "I think we need to do an experiment. Check it here, in a controlled environment and see what happens." Lelouch's theory about brainwaves was all well and good, but it didn't explain them being so desperate to fuck that they'd completely missed not only their gory surroundings, but also the risk they were placing Nunnally in. It was really a minor miracle they'd even managed to remember the most basic of protections, considering the fact that Lelouch didn't recall it being a factor for him at all.

This was already alarming enough. If there were other consequences, they definitely needed to know.

"That makes sense," Suzaku said, "but how exactly do we test it? Yours needs a person, I think."

Lelouch looked at C.C. "Tell me the truth. What is it that you really want with me and Suzaku?"

C.C. arched a brow at him. "Geass doesn't work on me."

Ugh. He supposed it would have been much too easy if it had.

"Huh," Suzaku said. "Your left eye lit up red with a glowing bird sigil just now."

"My left eye?" Lelouch repeated. "It was your right." He threw another glance toward C.C. "Is the difference relevant, and can everyone see the sigil?" That would be a problem too. They couldn't go around using their powers if their eyes looked like something out of a bad horror movie.

"The only people who can see it are the ones involved with Geass in some way. As for the difference, I don't know."

Lelouch sighed. Why was he not surprised?

"The experiment it is then. We'll have to figure it out in time."

Fortunately, they were in luck. Sayoko was an early riser and arrived shortly after that, ridding them of their problem.

Lelouch felt a little guilty about invading Sayoko's privacy, but it could not be helped. "C.C., stay in my room while Suzaku and I check this over."

C.C. showed no reaction to his order/suggestion, but Lelouch hoped she at least had enough sense to comply.

Suzaku and Lelouch left the room together and headed into the kitchen. "Hello, Sayoko," Lelouch said to his maid.

"Good morning, Sayoko-san," Suzaku offered in turn, throwing her his patented "I'm-Suzaku-Kururugi-and-I-can-do-no-wrong" smile. "I'm sorry for intruding."

"Lelouch-sama, Suzaku-san," she said with a pleasant smile. "Good morning."

"Suzaku and I got caught up in yesterday's events a little bit, Sayoko," Lelouch explained. He trusted her not to say anything, so it would be fine to give her that explanation. "It seemed safer to let him stay here for the night than to have him brave the trip to Narita with so many Britannians running around."

Come to think of it, that was probably true. Since he had killed Clovis, security in the settlement must be on high alert. Huh.

"I see," Sayoko said kindly.

Okay, time for the experiment. Mentally apologizing to Sayoko, Lelouch activated his power. Instead of asking a question, he went with his gut and said, "Sayoko, I order you to take off your hat."

It was actually something had noticed in the past. Sayoko never took off that little hat of hers. Even during their training sessions, she somehow still managed to keep it on. Lelouch assumed she must have pinned it to her hair somehow, but all attempts to get her to take it off had been futile.

Sayoko's face went blank. "Yes, Lelouch-sama."

She quickly proceeded to take off the hat. Lelouch didn't know what was eerier, seeing her without her omnipresent headwear, or staring at her blank expression.

Either way, the experiment was marginally successful in that it answered one of his questions. He appeared to be able to give people whatever order he wished, and have them follow it. Further analysis was necessary, but for now, it already told him plenty.

On the other hand, he felt a mild tingle when he used the skill, but it was nothing of significance. It also went away mere seconds later, just like it had when Suzaku had used his in the warehouse.

Lelouch didn't have time to draw any significant conclusions, because almost at the same time, Sayoko blinked and her expression turned to normal. She stared down at the hat in her hands. Lelouch mentally flailed when he realized how suspicious the entire situation was. "Sayoko," he said again, "put the hat back on and forget about the whole incident."

"Yes, Lelouch-sama," she said again.

The process repeated itself, and a minute later, Lelouch and Suzaku were seated at the table in the kitchen, with Sayoko none the wiser about what had happened and offering them breakfast.

_"I'm not really comfortable doing that again to Sayoko,"_ Lelouch said, only to find his thoughts naturally drifting toward Suzaku.

_"I'll try mine."_

While Sayoko cooked, Suzaku tested his own ability. After he accidentally snapped a fork in two, he decided on a different approach. Apparently, not only his strength and speed had increased, but also the acuity of his senses, and simply focusing on Lelouch's heartbeat or his scent was enough to make the Geass work.

The experiment did give them some information on what they could do, but in other ways, it told them absolutely nothing. There was a small rush, but it dissipated quickly. It was nothing like they had toward the end of the battle. What was going on?

They thanked Sayoko and returned to their room, more confused than ever. "Is it a matter of duration or something else entirely?" Lelouch asked, frustrated.

Predictably, C.C. didn't answer, which left Lelouch with no other option but to continue his experiment.

This plan was actually pretty straightforward. As far as Lelouch could tell, nobody had realized Suzaku was at the school, due to a  mix of blind luck and the fact that even in their states, the two of them had maintained enough rational faculties to realize they needed to keep a low profile. The students at Ashford weren't known for their powers of observation, and while Lelouch's friends did come to his and Nunnally's quarters on occasion, nobody but he, Nunnally and Sayoko ever entered his room.  

Therefore, Lelouch left the secret boyfriend he had illicitly sneaked into the school right where he was and went to class as usual, like he hadn't been involved in a battle that had led him to receive superpowers and kill his own brother just the day before.

Obviously, he couldn't randomly throw his Geass around when everyone was present to see. It would be even more suspicious than Sayoko taking off her cap. So he was left with ambushing random students or teachers during breaks and telling them to do small, harmless things or asking them embarrassing questions.

He swiftly realized he needed some kind of eye contact for his power to work.  Glasses could not block it and it could be used through reflections, but protective goggles did appear to make the target immune—as he learned upon targetting a passing member of the Science Club.

Hilariously, he also found out some things he did not expect. He was a little shocked when Eric Kaufman from the Wind Music Group turned out to have a crush of him, although in hindsight, maybe he shouldn't have been. It stood to reason that he wouldn't be the only student with homosexual leanings in the school, and given the way girls seemed to be attracted to him, it wasn't out of the question that gay boys would be in the same situation.

He'd have probably set the whole matter aside, since he'd already noticed nobody seemed to remember the order they were being given—possibly because some sort of damage done by his power to the cerebelum. But as it turned out, his new mental link to Suzaku had some side-effects, as he couldn't precisely hide said crush from his very possessive boyfriend.

_"I'll kill him. Slowly and painfully."_

_"You don't need to kill him,"_ Lelouch pointed out _. "He's no threat to you."_

It was true, but that didn't mean Lelouch didn't feel a little—okay, a lot—hot under the collar just at the fact that Suzaku had even made the offer. He'd always liked it when Suzaku got rough in bed...

Maybe he could unearth that present he'd bought Suzaku a little sooner than he'd intended. He had planned to use it on Suzaku's eighteenth birthday—to celebrate the milestone—but that was still ages in the future.

As he turned away from Eric, Lelouch found himself debating the merits of going to see Suzaku to relieve some of his tension. Surely skipping History wouldn't be a big deal. It was all nonsense propaganda. His time was better spent sucking Suzaku's cock. And tying him to his bed and riding him until neither of them could walk. And then covering him with his favorite ice cream and licking it off him.

_"Couldn't agree more,"_ Suzaku said.

Lelouch was already making a mental inventory of the quantity of lube and ice cream he still had in stock when the presence of a familiar figure snapped him out of his fugue. The girl from the Glasgow.

He had seen deemed her familiar when he'd seen her in the truck, and the feeling had only increased later when she'd briefly left her knightmare to rush to her friend's help. He'd discarded it at the time due to having other priorities, but now, he recognized her.

And while that was all well and good, seeing her also made him remember the exact reason of why he was going through with this experiment. It made him process the fact that he'd been randomly throwing around his power again without thinking about it much, for the better part of the last couple of hours. He'd stopped using the power on other people when he'd actually had to go to class, but he'd also been in contact with Suzaku the whole time.

Fuck.

He froze in his tracks, and almost instantly started to feel woozy. A migraine exploded in his skull. "Lelouch?" Rivalz asked by his side. "Lelouch, are you okay?"

"Uh... Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine." He shook his head, trying to clear it. He wasn't really successful. "I need... I forgot something in my room."

Rivalz looked unconvinced, which was fair enough, since Lelouch never forgot anything. But Lelouch didn't bother to give another excuse. He turned on his heel and ran off, heading back toward the Student Council building.

In his mind, he could hear the echo of Suzaku reaching out for him, but it wasn't enough, not nearly enough. There was a sense of desperation to their mental touch that hadn't been there before. Suzaku was nearly incoherent, to the point where he couldn't actually convey much through their bond except, _"I need you, I need you,"_ but Lelouch wasn't doing much better either, so it wasn't like he could point fingers.

It was just as well that everybody was still at class, because he found Suzaku already out of his and Nunnally's quarters, in the main hall of the Student Council building. C.C. came running after him, looking ruffled. She must have attempted to keep Suzaku from escaping, but had only been marginally successful.

Lelouch had enough time to be both surprised and grateful that she'd managed to do that before he rushed into Suzaku's arms, and forgot all about C.C. and everybody else for that matter.

They ended up making out right there, in the middle of the hall, and as soon as they touched Lelouch's headache vanished. But it was only after Lelouch gave Suzaku a blowjob that he could think straight.

"So... That happened," Suzaku said, slumping down against the wall and still breathing hard.

"You used your Geass every time I used mine, didn't you?" Lelouch asked.

"Of course he did," C.C. replied. She was seated on the steps and looked very unimpressed indeed. Lelouch mentally groaned when he realized she'd been there the whole time when he and Suzaku had been going at each other like they were high. "I told you that it's the same power, just divided in two," she finished.

"But there was nothing like that when we were in the kitchen with Sayoko," Suzaku protested.

C.C. shrugged. "There probably was, but you just didn't notice, because you were so close to one another."

Suzaku grimaced, but couldn't argue with that. "I suppose it's possible, but it still doesn't explain anything."

No, it didn't. As much as he appreciated being given this power, Lelouch was not keen on being randomly out of control like this. They'd kept their relationship a secret precisely because it was so risky. Suzaku's mere presence here was hugely problematic. If this escalated further, they could end up losing everything they'd worked so hard for.

In the end, they naturally decided to return to Lelouch and Nunnally's quarters. As soon as they entered the apartment, it became obvious that he had another problem on his plate.

The whole place was a disaster area. Suzaku had managed to break two chairs and a table before he'd escaped from her hold. And that was leaving aside the general state of disarray he'd left both Lelouch's room and the living room in. This was... quite unfortunate, and they had to fix the damage before it drew Sayoko or Nunnally's attention. Until he decided what to tell them, he had to keep this under wraps at all costs.

Lelouch texted Rivalz that he wasn't coming back to class, and then he and Suzaku got to work. Perhaps unsurprisingly, C.C. just stood by and watched.

It took some time for them to clean everything up and order replacements for the furniture, but it was time well spent, as it gave Lelouch some clarity.

"I think I have an idea on what might be going on," he said. "We have something to look into."

His new idea once again involved him using his Geass, but he was more careful, and the answers he received because of it were worth it.

An hour later, Suzaku, Lelouch and their green-haired friend sat together in his room, looking at the results from the blood samples Lelouch had just taken and analyzed in the chemistry lab he'd appropriated from the suddenly very cooperative TA.

"Well, fuck," Suzaku eloquently stated.

"That's one way of putting it, Suzaku. This... This could be a problem."

If Lelouch's calculations were correct, the power they'd just gotten from C.C. was very dangerous, not just for other people, but for the two of them individually.

"We need to be careful and use it only in times of absolute necessity. This type of thing can even kill us."

Lelouch didn't have to be an endocrinologist to see that the levels of the various hormones had increased to dangerous levels. He had no idea how it was even possible. The levels of adrenalin and cortisol in Suzaku's blood were so off the charts it was a miracle he had yet to collapse under the strain. It definitely explained the sudden increase in Suzaku's already impressive physical skills.

Lelouch's hormone levels weren't quite as high, which he suspected was connected to the different nature of his ability. However, they did have one thing in common. A lot of oxytocin. The so-called 'love' hormone. That certainly explained their desire to fuck each other crazy.

Lelouch wasn't exactly sure why his own ability had taken a different form, what the reason for his migraine had been or if he had been right about his original theory on the telepathy, but he suspected the only way to figure that out would be to take actual brain scans, and they didn't have the equipment for that here.

In the meantime, they knew that being in each other's presence caused their hormone levels to even out. Strange, but a good thing. On the other hand, this type of hormone imbalance could lead to many health issues, a lot of them connected to the heart—which was very bad, especially for Suzaku.

"I'm supposed to go back to Narita, Lelouch," Suzaku said. "Is it... Are we going to be okay, doing that?"

"I have no idea," Lelouch admitted. "As I see it, we're probably safe, as long as we don't use this power when we're apart. If we do, and we can't reach each other in time, the consequences could be dire. So we should keep it only as an emergency back up plan, at least until we can figure out a way to be together all the time."

"That sounds like a good plan," Suzaku said. He didn't seem completely convinced. "Hey... What do you think would have happened had you not snapped out of it when you saw the Glasgow girl?"

"I'm actually... not sure." He remembered the day before, when he had suddenly decided it was time to stop the battle, that it was enough. "I may have stopped by myself. It tells us what to do, I think. But on the other hand, I'm not sure to what extent using the Geass together affects our ability to realize what is actually happening to us."

At first, seeing Suzaku had been a suggestion he had been able to ignore to continue with his day. He had wanted to go see Suzaku and had fully intented to skip class just to get a quickie in with his secret boyfriend. But then, once he'd processed what he'd been doing and had actively forced himself to stop using the Geass, the want had hit him like a sledgehammer, and the migraine had appeared.

"This is all actually very unnerving," Suzaku said.

It was, but at least they were getting better at figuring out where they stood. "We'll take some brain scans when I manage to get the right equipment, see the exact range on this thing," Lelouch replied. "It'll be fine, Suzaku, you'll see. Besides, there are worse things than being stuck with one another."

That drew a smile out of Suzaku. "Yeah. In fact, I don't think I mind it at all. It's just the not knowing precisely how it works that bugs me." His expression sobered. "Should I... talk it over with Tohdoh-sensei, do you think?"

Lelouch grimaced. "That would probably be best." Except for the fact that it sound crazy and outlandish even to him, and he was experiencing the phenomenon.

"Fuck. What am I going to tell him? I ran into an undead woman in Tokyo who gave me a superpower that makes me want to randomly fuck my boyfriend, but could also potentially give me a heart attack?"

"To be fair, Suzaku, it's not random," Lelouch teased his knight. "And maybe it would be a good idea to be a little more tactful about it."

"Do you think he'd believe it?"

"Let's... Let's hope so."

For the moment, that was all they had. Hope. Tohdoh-sensei had been the only one who'd given Lelouch and Suzaku support against all possible odds, and right now, they desperately needed that.

As he looked at Suzaku's glum face, though, Lelouch somehow knew it wasn't that simple. Neither of them had forgotten that Tohdoh had come here for a reason and had hidden it from Suzaku. What did that mean? Lelouch didn't know, and it scared him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LONG AN:  
> So this was my attempt at a vaguely scientific explanation of Geass, insofar as a non-scientifically minded person can manage it, at least. To wrap it up a bit:
> 
> In canon, Geass appears to be primarily a mind-based ability. A neurological/mental ability. Lelouch's, for example, can be interpreted as a method to hijack another individual's mental pathways through sensory input (visual contact and verbal command). Rolo's doesn't seem to need said sensory input, but it has the same purpose, as does Mao's, the emperor's etc.
> 
> However, we then have Bismarck. Bismarck's Geass's is different. Every other Geass is something that acts as a weapon against somebody else. Bismarck's doesn't. Instead, it improves HIM.
> 
> If you want, you can compare his Geass a little with what Lelouch does when he predicts the patterns of Suzaku's fighting using his own intelligence and the systems of the Gawain. Bismarck obviously can't do that normally—but the Geass fixes that problem. In a way, it makes him smarter. In this sense, I hypothesize that his Geass is a manifestation of his desire to be the best that he can be, mostly for Marianne's sake (since we already know that Geass depends on the individual's wishes etc.)
> 
> Why is this important? Because it is something that I used for Suzaku. The mind has a lot of power, and the brain—the nervous system—controls everything in one's body.  
> It is actually true that the hormones like adrenaline can significantly boost a person's physical strength and speed for a limited amount of time. This is, I suspect, the way Suzaku's 'Live on' Geass works in canon. I actually think that there are ways to physically exploit this through some forms of advanced meditation techniques and Suzaku's tapping into his command is like that – although I could be wrong, and probably the things that do exist aren't quite on the level in the anime.
> 
> In any case, Suzaku's CURRENT Geass is obviously different from his canon command, and it has its downsides. It's much more powerful, and as vaguely explained in the chapter, a hormone imbalance can be very dangerous, and even lead to lethal consequences. 
> 
> The source of Lelouch's Geass is the same as before, but the reason why there are extra consequences that didn't exist in the anime is because of the fact that he shares this Geass with Suzu. More on that – and on what exactly is going on with Lelouch, why the Geass works more than once, the effects of the telepathy etc. - further along the line.
> 
> Also: New tag: Sex Pollen. Yes, I absolutely did give SuzaLulu a Geass that makes them randomly want to fuck. Yes, I sort of consider this the closest thing to the Sex Pollen trope you can find in a CG fic. It might not be a plant, but the effects are kind of the same. 
> 
> I'm a horrible person and I regret nothing. *insert Lelouch-like laughter


	13. Decisions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy birthday Lelouch! As promised, my second update of the day! It's not very Lelouch-centric, but I hope you like it anyway!

In the Narita headquarters of the JLF base, Tohdoh paced. He hadn't seen his son in days. He'd spoken to Suzaku briefly during the battle, but since then, he hadn't been able to reach the boy. His phone was on, but Suzaku had ignored all calls.

Late on the morning the 16th, he finally received the call he'd been waiting for. "Sorry for not calling back sooner, Tohdoh-sensei. There was an... incident."

"An incident," Tohdoh repeated, his panic still pulsing at the back of his mind. "What kind of incident? Where are you now?"

"Still in Tokyo. I'm laying low at Lelouch's place. It's going to be a little more troublesome than expected to get back to Narita, because all the roads are being watched by Britannian security. I stole an experimental knightmare from them and it'll be difficult to get it to Narita, but I'll be there tonight."

Tohdoh was not happy with the idea of his son being at Ashford Academy, but it was true that the Britannians were going crazy after yesterday's incidents.

The news that Clovis was dead had yet to hit the streets, but things had happened similarly in the first timelime too. He wondered how he could approach the topic with his son without making Suzaku suspicious... or more suspicious than he already was, after the battle the day before.

Fortunately, Suzaku fixed that by bringing it up himself. "Listen, Tohdoh-sensei. Clovis is dead. It was us."

Us? That didn't make it clear if it had been Suzaku or still Lelouch, like the first time. Tohdoh would have to ask.

Come to think of it, if Suzaku wasn't there to take the fall for the murder, who would? God, this was difficult.

"I see," he said. "I feel like I should reprimand you for being reckless, but it's much too late for that." And to be fair, Clovis had more than deserved it.

"Has Lelouch-kun decided how to deal with the aftermath of his rather explosive introduction to our people?"

Suzaku groaned. "We haven't had the time to think about it properly. Can you stall? Bring up Clovis's death with the JLF and see what they say?"

They hadn't had the time? What had they been doing for the past 16 hours, give or take?

"I'll try. For the moment, the only thing they know is that you were involved, as well as the mysterious spy I've had for years in the settlement. We'll discuss the rest later."

"Thank you, Tohdoh-sensei." He paused, sounding like he wanted to say something more. In the end, he didn't. "I will see you tonight. Thank you."

With that, Suzaku hung up, and Tohdoh was left stewing in his own frustration and anxiety. He had experience hiding it from the rest of the JLF, but that didn't mean he didn't feel like he wanted to scream.

What had happened in Shinjuku? He had to find out the details. And he had to finally make a decision on where to go from here.

Half of this disaster could have been avoided had he been more straightforward about what he knew of the future. Could he continue hiding the facts? Tohdoh might not have all the information, but he knew a lot that could help their cause, information that would be vital for Zero and his rebellion.

Princess Euphemia's project and her unexplainable massacre. Cornelia had blamed it on Geass. If Lelouch had the power again, as Tohdoh assumed, it was Tohdoh's duty to do something about it.

Then the FLEIJA built by Nina Einstein. It had been instrumental in the final war between Lelouch and Schneizel, but it had killed millions. Thinking back, had they actually won, Schneizel would have taken over Britannia.

At the time, Schneizel had seemed like the lesser evil, but now, it was obviously something that needed to be avoided. So the FLEIJA was another factor that had to be removed from the equation.

His problem, he now realized, was that he had significant difficulties reconciling the Lelouch and Suzaku who had been the Demon Emperor and his Betrayer Knight with the two boys who sneaked around behind his back to make out in the bushes.

Had he never seen behind the mask of Zero or known the truth about him, he would have not hesitated to provide this information to the man he knew was a military genius. But the man in question was not actually a man. He was a teenager, only seventeen now. The day before must've been the first time he'd even killed someone—if he was even the one to have pressed the trigger, that is.

Then there was Suzaku. How was he supposed to tell his surrogate son how badly things had gone the first time?

So far, he had worked on the premise that he would only make limited changes to the timeline so that he would be able to control the fallout based on what he already knew. That was a sound strategy... except for the fact that things were already badly snowballing.

On the bright side, the fact that Suzaku had procured the Lancelot was good news. It would definitely come in handy. And Clovis's death would help as well, win both Suzaku and Lelouch some favor.

He tried to encourage himself with this as he waited, while also conveying Suzaku's accomplishment to the others. Naturally, General Katase was visibly pleased at the news of Suzaku having captured an important Britannian weapon. The news of Prince Clovis's demise brought even more rejoicing.

"We've finally starting to pay Britannia back for their crimes," Katase said.

"Japan can still earn its pride back!" Kusakabe exclaimed.

"Nippon banzai!" came a cry from most everyone around them.

It was probably an explosion of excitement that wasn't completely warranted, but a lot of people had died in Shinjuku, and nobody was happy about it. They would take their good news where they could.

As expected, when Suzaku arrived, he was received with much enthusiasm. He didn't actually come in using the Lancelot, but in a large vehicle, with the knightmare inside. The Lancelot itself was still a little damaged, but it was obviously an excellent asset. "Chawla-san will have a field day with this," Katase commented. "Well done, Kururugi."

"Thank you, General Katase. I couldn't have done it alone."

"Ah, yes. Your mysterious friend from the settlement. Tohdoh has mentioned him before. When are you going to introduce us?"

"Soon," Suzaku said vaguely.

General Katase looked like he wanted to say more, but Tohdoh didn't give him the chance. "General Katase, with your permission, I wanted to have a word with Suzaku in private."

Katase did not seem surprised at this. Tohdoh had probably not been very discreet in his concern for his surrogate son. "Naturally," he easily agreed.

After bowing politely, Tohdoh pulled Suzaku aside, into his own private quarters. "You look tired, Suzaku-kun," he said.

"I've had an eventful couple of days," Suzaku replied, sitting down on a zaisu.

Tohdoh sat too. He had no idea how to start this conversation. It was times like these when he was most reminded how inadequate he truly was and how unfit to be a family man.

Fortunately, Suzaku saved him from his predicament. "Tohdoh-sensei... Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course."

"Why didn't you tell me you were going to Tokyo on a mission? What exactly did you find out about what was going on and how?"

Well, this was not how Tohdoh had hoped this conversation would start.

"I didn't tell you about what I was doing because I felt it was too risky to involve you. As for the how and why... That's a little more complicated."

Suzaku clenched his fists in visible frustration. "Tohdoh-sensei... Why are you going to trust that I can take care of myself?"

"Perhaps when I know for a fact that you're not going to run around breaking the rules I set for a reason, just for the sake of the Britannian prince."

Suzaku looked stricken, and Tohdoh immediately regretted his words. They were true, but it was still a low blow.

"Suzaku-kun, listen. You are my son. It is my prerogative to worry, and to make decisions on whether or not you are prepared for certain missions."

"I thought we'd passed that stage when I was fifteen," Suzaku protested.

"We did," Tohdoh admitted. "However, everybody is occassionally prone to making decisions influenced by their emotions, not their head. Even me. Even you."

Suzaku obviously couldn't argue with that. If anything, they'd both made the same mistake the day before, and blaming one another for it would not help them.

"Tohdoh-sensei... Something happened yesterday... in Shinjuku," Suzaku said after a small moment of pause.

Tohdoh jumped at the chance to learn more about the incident from the day before. "I take it you're not referring to the attack we were all a part of."

"No. Well... sort of."

He was visibly hesitant, and Tohdoh couldn't blame him. He decided against pushing Suzaku to speak, instead giving his surrogate son a few moments to gather his thoughts. He was not surprised when Suzaku took a deep breath and continued his tale.

"Right. Err... Lelouch and I saw each other early yesterday. We got distracted, and Lelouch missed his train."

Tohdoh mentally sighed. He already knew what that distraction must've been. Boys.

"I figured I would drive him back to Tokyo and come right back. I fully intended to stay out of sight. You know I'm good at that."

Yes, Tohdoh did know, and he wasn't really surprised Suzaku had broken the rules for the prince's convenience. Knowing Suzaku, he must've offered just because he wanted to be with Lelouch a little longer. He missed the prince a lot when they weren't together.

"When we were in Tokyo, there was an accident on the freeway. We saw the car and rushed to help. We fell inside. There was... There was a capsule. It looked like a bomb or a weapon of some kind. A biological or chemical weapon, according to Lelouch."

Tohdoh had a feeling he knew exactly what had been in that capsule.

"We wanted to contact the JLF, but the car went into the subway tunnels and we had no signal. Then, the driver got us into another accident and we were forced to leave it. Lelouch gave him first aid and we were about to leave when the capsule opened, and... There was a girl inside. They'd kept her prisoner, trapped like some sort of animal."

Suzaku's comment held a sedate sort of anger, but he continued to speak without being deterred by it.

"We went out through the subway tunnels. There were some Britannian soldiers, but I got rid of them easily enough. Then a knightmare showed up, and the girl... Well, she..." Suzaku paused and gave Tohdoh a torn look. "Tohdoh-sensei, I swear to you, what I'm about to tell you is the complete and utter truth."

"I trust you, Suzaku-kun. Keep going."

"Right. She... She suddenly grabbed Lelouch. I happened to be holding him at the same time. And then... The world sort of blurred and went white. It was like we weren't in real life any longer. And... She offered us a contract. Well, technically she offered it to Lelouch, but I stepped in, because I refused to let Lelouch go through anything so sketchy and risky alone. So she gave it to both of us."

If Tohdoh had been someone else, he would have buried his face in his hands and wept. Of course he had. That made far too much sense.

"What did this contract involve?" he somehow managed to ask.

"I don't really know, to be honest." Suzaku looked uncomfortable upon making the admission. "We're supposed to fulfill a wish of hers, but she hasn't told us what it is. In exchange, she gave us supernatural abilities. Lelouch's is apparently some kind of advanced form of telepathy. Mine is more physical, strength, speed, reflexes, things like that.

"I'd show you, but... It comes with some disadvantages."

Oh no. Tohdoh did not like where this is going.

"For some reason, it... Among other things, it results in a hormone imbalance in our bodies, to a very dangerous extent."

"How dangerous?" Tohdoh asked, suddenly feeling cold. This wasn't right. He was pretty sure Zero's Geass had only been dangerous to others, not himself.

"I'm not actually sure. The Geass sort of regulates that, but the mechanism through which it works is still... unclear to us. The girl who gave it to us said that it's supposed to be an individual power, but because she gave it to us at the same time, it forces us together. And if we use it when we're apart, we start to behave strangely. We're pulled toward each other even under the weirdest circumstances. That helps bring us back to normal, but Lelouch thinks that if there was ever a time when we did that and we couldn't actually reach each other, well... It could be bad. Maybe even..."

"Lethal," Tohdoh finished when Suzaku trailed off. He was unsurprised when the boy nodded.

Damn it all to hell. It was clear now. He could no longer afford to wait, nor could he rely on the vagueness of his safety net to keep his son safe. This whole thing had already escalated to epic proportions.

He had no idea if the "advanced form of telepathy" Suzaku had mentioned was the same as the "advanced form of hypnosis" Prince Schneizel had, but he had not missed the vagueness of Suzaku's explanation on the consequences of the Geass. It was obvious that he needed to have a long and truthful conversation with his son's boyfriend, as quickly as possible. Suzaku had already died in his arms once. He refused to let it happen again.

"Tohdoh-sensei? You believe me, don't you?"

"Of course, Suzaku-kun. Listen, there are some things I need to tell you and Lelouch-kun." He debated mentioning Geass outright, but decided against it, since it was not a conversation he could rush, and not without Lelouch present. "There is still much you don't know, things I've kept from you because I felt you weren't ready to know."

Suzaku opened his mouth, obviously wanting to protest the statement again. Tohdoh stopped him before he could so. "Do not argue with me at this time, Suzaku. We will discuss it all a later date."

Suzaku frowned in visible confusion, but must've realized Tohhdoh was serious, because he agreed."All right, Tohdoh-sensei."

"In the meantime, do not use this power under any circumstances," Tohdoh said. "We'll figure out exactly what to do about it soon."

"That was our tentative plan too," Suzaku offered. "To mostly use it as a backup, until we find a way to be together all the time."

Tohdoh was completely unsurprised by this. It also meant that Suzaku would no longer be able to stay in Narita. There was no way the prince could come here. If it had been just him, maybe they could have managed some sort of arrangement, but his sister was still at Ashford, and he'd never leave her.

Tohdoh ached at the knowledge that he'd have to let his son go soon, but it would appear that everything came at a cost. He couldn't risk that cost being Suzaku's life, now when it was so obvious that the Geass put it in danger.

"You'll probably have to move to the Tokyo settlement," he said. "It'll take some work, but we'll manage it somehow."

"You think the JLF would go for that?" Suzaku asked, obviously worried. "I'm pretty much the best pilot here."

"Yes, and it's time for you to spread your wings a bit. Besides, I have no doubt that the prince is already making plans on how to use your newly acquired skills."

Suzaku flushed, confirming Tohdoh's guess. Oddly, this reassured him.

Zero had managed to hide the Black Knights right under the noses of the Britannians the first time around. He'd manage it now too. Lelouch was nothing if not resourceful, and he had proven time and time again that he was invested in Suzaku's wellbeing. They'd be fine.

The thought brought to mind one more thing they needed to decide, and one more problem they suddenly had.

Tomorrow, the pure blood faction was supposed to accuse an Honorary Britannian of having killed Clovis. What would they do without Suzaku there to take the fall? And if Suzaku wasn't the one to be targeted, would Lelouch be inclined to intervene? Would he even take up the mask of Zero, considering the fact that he had far more resources now than he did in the first timeline, and far more to lose?

It seemed unlikely. In fact, it was more probably that Lelouch would want to be careful with his Geass and use the support of the JLF instead of relying on the wild gambles like he had in the past.

Which left them with a big issue. Where would the rebellion even start, if Lelouch decided to not create Zero?

****

_Meanwhile_

"So this group of filthy Elevens managed to abscond with the one of most powerful knightmares Britannia currently owns, and you have no idea where it is and how to find it?"

Lloyd Asplund didn't reply to Jeremiah's perfectly reasonable inquiry. He seemed to have fallen into a near catatonic state since the disappearance of his machine. "My Lancelot... My Lancelot..."

"There, there, Sir Lloyd," Cecile Croomy tried to comfort him. "We have the plans. We can rebuild it."

"That's beside the point, Cecile," Lloyd snapped. "Didn't you see the results we got before the pilot of the Lancelot thought to remove our link to it? 99% compatibility! How the hell are we supposed to find a devicer to match that?"

"Your knightmare is not the issue, Asplund!" Jeremiah bellowed, interrupting the conversation. "His Imperial Highness is dead. How likely is it that this Eleven thief was the one to kill him?"

"Pretty likely, I'd say," Cecile replied. "Whoever he is, if he was able to pilot the Lancelot like that, and defeat Prince Clovis's forces in Shinjuku, he would've probably been able to find a way to sneak into the G1 base."

"Considering the fact that the guard line was broken at the time, it wouldn't have been that much of a challenge at all," Lloyd added.

Jeremiah shared a look with Kewell. They had two options here.

The first was to blame the murder on an Honorary. The idea had appeal, as it would help the purists take control of Area 11.

On the other hand, they could not ignore the identity of the real culprit. Even if Jeremiah had been inclined to do so for his own benefit—and he was not—another viceroy would be sent, and Lloyd would not keep it quiet. The ASEEC was under the direct supervision of Prince Schneizel and the loss of the knightmare had probably been reported already.

If they attempted to push things too far now, the situation could spiral wildly out of control.

"We have no choice. We have to admit the rebels were the ones behind the murder, and sanction Asperius for failing to protect His Highness."

Kewell nodded. "We'll have to discuss how to proceed further once the new viceroy arrives."

"Perhaps we can use this, Lord Kewell." A bloodthirsty grin appeared on Jeremiah's face. "If it was the Elevens, it may allow us to start a stronger campaign against the vermin."

And then, Jeremiah would finally have his revenge, for the murder of his charges, of the Prince Lelouch and the Princess Nunnally. Yes, that was what he would do.

The Elevens would finally pay, more than they had for these past seven years.


End file.
